**FEATURED BY WATTPAD** The oldest story of falling told in 401 words. Cover by @MissBookNut

Leonard wants to bequeath his tattooed skin to the National Gallery of Australia. He has been almost completely inked by one of Australia's best contemporary artists, but he is a canvas that nobody wants. Strange things start happening to Leonard, Darwin's moth, a tattoo from his calf, flutters around him one night, he wakes with a Cold War gas mask on his head, Mao Tse Tung appears in his bed. Tattoos from his skin come alive before him and he becomes more convinced than ever that his skin is truly precious.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)