Some of these are not mine. -RELATE and ENJOY (Vote and comment on my book please? Thank you :3)

Jokes! Jokes! Jokes! Jokes! Just some random jokes that I came across on the Internet. ****I take no credit for these jokes****

Teenager postssssssss. 99 of them :)

"What are you?" "Lethal." • • • Humans and Creatures. That's what mankind has come to. Some humans were locked up as infants and genetically altered for the purpose of making a stronger specie, and now their offspring have to be tested to see if they are safe to put out into the real world. Having been locked up in secure facility all of his life, Charlie is to be the first Creature to step outside into the real world. New to the world and to humans who aren't trying to poke a needle in him, he's scared as to what it has to offer. But also curious. Assigned to watch the first Creature and introduce him into modern world, Carly has gotten quite the job. He is like a giant 6'7 baby, and she has to teach him everything from eating with cutlery, to learning natural human behavior, to understanding such a difficult thing as love. He was just supposed to be an assignment, but the more time her and Charlie spend together, the more Carly had to admit he was so much more than just a Creature. Charlie is a brilliant, fast learning, curious specie with a big appetite, so what do you think will happen when such a creature is introduced to a thing like sex? One can only imagine...

"Guns and sex... that's what you are." • • • Rya Wilkins is a top trained agent, working under the orders of the president of USA. Her job involves brutal interrogations, dangerous undercover CIA work, and killing people who pose a threat to their nation. - And a threat like that just so happens to come in the form of a lethal and dangerously handsome Italian agent, who managed to break into the CIA and steal confidential information. It is now Rya's job to retrieve that information and stop the goddamn mischievous, sexy, son of a-I'm-going-to-make-your-body-explode-in-more-ways-than-one agent and bring him into custody. But there's a thin line between hatred and love - and that line turns out to be Rya's thong.

A collection of long and short poems for those that want sad and romantic poems to read. 'You held my hand, as my eyes leaked, whispered my name and kissed my cheeks' -Love Poems A\N :This is my first time writing poems so plz don't judge too harshly. Fair warning, not all my poems will make sense.

Dear Reader, It hadn't hit me right away, many things, but especially the fact that I was about to turn twenty years old. It was as if it was just yesterday that I was learning how to make a peanut butter sandwiches, tie my shoes, and draw endlessly with fat crayons--which I thoroughly believed to be a masterpiece. It had to be yesterday, when I was befriending any new person that I met with a dazzling smile. No, those were the years that I was numb--masked from the world and blissfully unaware of the dangers and lingering dark edges of the Chicago city. Life moves fast; terrifyingly fast for some, especially those who try and anchor down each and every day of their existence. For others, it moves drearily slow. I use to be numb, I use to be unaware of the shadows deep within the corners of the earth, the watchful figures around me. I use to draw scribbles, struggle to tie my shoes, and fail at doing the simple things, like tying shoes. I use to make friends with anyone I met and kept that friendship over a promise. I use to do a lot of things, actually. But that was when life was a whole lot simpler, safer, and perfect. That was before I knew about Death. That was before he became my frenemy. Forever and always, Faith Williams *** MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075

(Bfflad- Best friends for life and death) Dear Reader, Let's start at the beginning shall we? I died. Oh no, not one of these stories again where someone angelic and heroic saves the damsel in distress. If only I was that lucky. My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped working, my soul began to lift away... And then I was saved by a beautiful man with a kind heart and sparkles sprinkled around his head in a golden halo. A cunning, dazzling smile etched his angled features and his hair lay perfectly on his head like...black, sinful layers of pure cynical distrusting evil. Evil that was just waiting to onset a innocent girl as myself and allow her a short amount of time of happiness, and then finish her off when she became older. I'll give you a hint. The beginning of that description was slightly exaggerated. The Angel of Death. One of the only creatures known that was capable of settling the boundaries of heaven on earth. The only creature capable of making one of the Devil's darkest deals to my loving mother; a second chance for her daughter. This comes with consequences of course. Everything you know about Death is wrong. Death is not natural, Death is not normal, Death is not doleful, and Death is far from mercenary. Death blends into the shadows like coal against the most atramentous sky. Death walks the earth with his cursed, monstrous and exotic features, his enticing voice and betraying alluring eyes. Death deceives, scratches, and plays with your mind, until you slowly and painfully loose your grip on reality. He'll make you believe he's a different person, that there's a sliver hope for him. Hope for you. Death is close. Forever and always, Faith Williams ************ DIMBFF FAN CLUB ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1605057011183.80718.1378871754&type=1#!/groups/308207282529485/ **** MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075

"Don't touch me, darling. Not unless you suddenly want to find yourself with my cock in your mouth." • • • Sins come in all shapes and sizes, but she never expected it to come in the shape of him. He was what you called a Sinner; His touch made you sin in every biblical way possible. One touch was all it took; one catastrophic sin. Cara had always lived the virtuous life as a faithful Catholic. She never expected her life to be abruptly turned upside down when she yelled at a rude man with sinfully wandering hands. But when you've lived your whole life as a saint and start to mess with a Sinner, you're bound to do something bad; You are bound to (do) Sin.

My Watty Awards 2013 Winner! The fourth installment of the DIMBFF series continues the thrilling journey of a young woman, Faith Williams, battling for her life, and the Angel of Death dragging her further into his world. *** My writing page! Please join! <3 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075 *** DIMBFF Facebook group! Join!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/308207282529485/