I'm so sorry that you had to see this. Tim has known moby, his robot companion, for a while now. and now Tim is starting to realize his feelings for that hot piece of metal named moby. in this story they embark on a sweaty and fun adventure with a sad but enticing ending

"So, how did you know you were gay?" "One day, I was walking and a rainbow tumbled from the sky and onto my head. Consequently, my brains fell out and I forgot what a vagina was. So, suddenly, when I accidentally walked into a changing room and thought, damn, I want that dangly thing between his legs up my arsecrack, I realised, oh holy fucking shit, the gay rainbow chose me! Praise Jesus." "Your parents must be proud." "They make me masturbate in a bath of holy water every night." - A light-hearted and sometimes funny collection of dialogue, letters, school incident reports, paintings and texts involving Charlie and his antagonistic art partner, Ferne, as they get together through their mutual love of spray-paint, love itself and... Ass Milk? Brilliant. [PG13: frequent profanities, contains bxb kissing gifs, moderate indirect sexual content/references and gAy RaInBoWs] 98% complete

All Noelani wanted was 25 cent ice cream. Little did she know, that the ice cream came at a cost. And it was a hell of a lot more than 25 cents. --------------------------------------------------------------------- ___________________________________________ Noelani was having a bad week. She had just settled into her new home in North Carolina, but all that was about to change. After being followed home, stalked, and nearly assaulted, she took a detour to a sketchy ice cream truck. And the ice cream was so bad it only made sense that they were kidnappers.

❝Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?❞ Just a couple conversations for shits and giggles between four idiotic beings on how to be sarcastic and other necessities. [Book 2 in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Shrek is trying to get Squisanardds love

❝What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?❞ Just a couple more conversations for shits and giggles between four idiotic beings on how to be sarcastic and other necessities. [Book 3 in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.

The compelling story of a young, lost individual trying to find their way in the world after it all seemed to crash and burn around them. Until they found the only person who could help them, the only one who would help make their life meaningful and give it some sort of purpose and form. This special person was the extraordinary man, Bob Duncan.

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.