Dan Howell is not a happy person. He relies on any type of high to get him through each day and he's never been in love with any girl he's dated. His parents want him to marry his girlfriend of two years, but he can't bring himself to marry someone he doesn't love, and who doesn't love him. He meets a man named Phil. Phil is so great, and has a lot in common with Dan. You'd think they'd be the perfect couple after they hit it off after only a day of knowing each other and become fast friends. Too bad they're both straight. Too bad his job causes him to lie to Phil perpetually. Too bad his feelings cause him to lie to Phil constantly. Can you look anyone in the eye and tell them you love them when you're lying about who you are? How long can you live on lies before everything falls apart? //Gay slang : Extensive Drug and Alcohol usage : mentions of depression and suicide : extensive strong language : Explicit sexual content

this is a book full of words. i started this over a year ago, and i'm very sorry for my extremely poor writing skills at the start. please forgive me.

"Why do you think you have to base yourself off what others think of you? Why can't you just be yourself for you?" I looked at him, befuddled. "How would you possibly know I do that?" I scoffed. He looked back to me this time, looking deep into my eyes. "I just know. I know that behind that pretty face of yours, you've got an even prettier personality. Show the world!" Dan will do anything to be the same as everyone else. Phil will do anything to not.