"His name echoed in my mind over and over again. It was a name I thought about often, too often, even. And I then regretted everything. I regretted going out to late at night when I should have been home. I regretted getting grounded and not caring about it. I regretted being too careless. Because if I hadn't done all that dumb shit that night, I probably wouldn't be stuck tutoring my long time nightmare for the next six weeks." Gabe Landers is seventeen and the youngest in nice christian family. Everyone expects him to be perfect. Except he's not. He's a family disgrace and he's sick of people telling him that. He's holding on to life by a thin string- he's in love with someone, specifically Kyle Peterson, one of the most popular guys in the school and it's killing him. The odds of the two of them are slim. But it can happen. And if it does happen, what if their secret gets out? As Gabe's whole world collapses as he ends up in a mental hospital with no boyfriend and a horrified family, he starts to wonder why he's there and maybe there's more to himself then he'd ever realize. And maybe, through a lot of rejection and hate, he can find true love and with a stroke of luck from people who are willing to be there for him, have the courage to live again Short version: A closeted family disgrace gets grounded and is stuck tutoring twice a week at his school. What happens when one of the boys he's tutoring is his one and only crush?

OKAY SO THIS STORY IS NOW CALLED THE ART OF EXISTENCE AND IT'S VERY VERY DIFFERENT AND MORE NORMAL LOL ANYWAYS GO READ THAT INSTEAD https://my.w.tt/pjimixf0Xab 'I guess when it came to crushes I was pretty particular. I mean before Kyle, there was this one guy in the eighth grade named Jax Gillman, but he moved to Tennessee and was probably straight anyways. And then there where those random moments when I'll see a guy in the mall and be like, shit, he's hot, and then forget about him a week later. So yeah, my crushes consisted of a rock star, a boy who moved away and a really popular kid who probably thought I was a psycho. I've never kissed a boy (or a girl- I always made some excuse) or anything like that in my life. That's my nonexistent love life for you. Apparently it gets better in college but who am I kidding?' Gabe Landers is seventeen and the youngest in rich Christian family. Everyone expects him to be perfect. Except he's not. He's a family disgrace and he's sick of people telling him that. He's holding on to life by a thin string- he's in love with someone, specifically Kyle Peterson, one of the most popular guys in the school and it's killing him. The odds of the two of them are slim. But it can happen. And if it does happen, what if their secret gets out? As Gabe's whole world collapses as he ends up in a mental hospital with no boyfriend and a horrified family, he starts to wonder why he's there and maybe there's more to himself then he'd ever realize. And maybe, through a lot of rejection and hate, he can find true love and maybe with a stroke of luck from people who are willing to be there for him, have the courage to live again.... Okay so this story is currently being edited and stuff and won't be updated consistently so be .