"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

"Is your refrigerator running?" "No, my refrigerator is not running." "Well you better...wait, what?" "Actually, it broke down a week ago because it knew that you were going to call with that stupid line and it decided it would rather die than listen to you say it. So now, thanks to you, I don't have a fridge and all of my food has gone bad." • • • Sometimes you find the crucial answers in the weirdest of places...and people.

When small-town girl, Willow Bee, allows her friends to drag her to a concert in the city, she doesn't know what to expect. What she surely doesn't expect is ending up with the lead singers phone in her pocket by the end of the night. Doing the most logical thing in her mind, she unlocks the device and picks a contact to text at random. The contact ends up being the band's drummer, Dean Kale.

Eve: I get that some friendships aren't supposed to last forever. I was naive to think my best friend since 1st grade would always be there for me. But you fucking my ex was a bitch move. Hope you like my sloppy seconds. 😊 Unknown Number: I think you have the wrong number... Eve: So now you're just going to pretend you did nothing wrong? Fuck you, Taylor. Unknown Number: My name is definitely not Taylor... But here's a picture of a donut I'm eating to help you feel better :) *File Attachment* Eve: Shit... <~~~~~~~~~~> ~Published on March 14, 2020~ ~Completed on May 7, 2020~

"Mom?" "..." "Can you buy me a box of pads? My period came." "Uh I think you should check who you're calling because one: I'm a male, two: I'm not your mom, and three: I have some spare pads." "Why on earth do you have pads?"

[Completed] "Because the way to a girl's heart is by dating other girls." *CURRENTLY BEING EDITED* Highest ranking: 1 in Short Story ©fictively

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

❝Hey. I think I need some advice. I fucked up big time.❞ ❝What did you do?❞ ❝I asked a girl out on a date.❞ ❝How did you mess up then?❞ ❝I think I like her.❞ a story about a girl who gives love advice via text message and the boy who needs it. [ extended summary inside ; dialogue book ] gorgeous cover by @_grimm #1 in shortstory; 28th Jul. 2020 Warnings: mild swearing and some really cringe moments