I have a soft spot for clean and funny jokes. Perhaps you do too. I have slowly been collecting things that I found particularly humorous. Most of these are not mine, although a few are. Some chapters are just images, and will have (images) in the chapter title. A new chapter every Monday. Enjoy. :) I kindly request that people refrain from swearing in my books. The English language is huge, and many other things can be used instead. I don't mind things like shit, blast it, or fuzzy bunny slippers, but I can't stand the f-bomb or when people insult female dogs. If people want to vent, why not do it more creatively? Nicky manages it quite well in The Virus Within. The lovely cover was made by @Ellie6880!

Chloe Provan wakes up in a white padded room with no memory as of to how she's arrived here. Chains bind her to the wall, and from the looks of it, there's no way out. She fills out forms, is given an ear piece, and then assigned to a house where she finds four other teenagers claiming to be her family. Now, Chloe must prove herself perfect or die trying. Rule 1: do whatever he says Rule 2: trust and love your new family Rule 3: don't piss him off Current Rank: #30 in Science Fiction Best Rank: #3 in Science Fiction (Slight explicit language) All Rights Are Reserved

Dr. Facundo é um psicólogo famoso por atender os mais estranhos pacientes do planeta. Quer agendar a sua consulta?

Um dia qualquer, em um bar qualquer, a Morte e o Tempo se encontram para jogar conversa fora.

Eduardo é pai de gêmeos, marido de enfermeira recém-formada e pagador atrasado de aluguel. Todos os dias ele sai à procura de emprego, mas quase sempre volta sem uma boa perspectiva. Com a difícil missão de criar seus filhos de oito anos, eles sempre procuram transformar o dia a dia o mais agradável possível, porque pode lhes faltar tudo, exceto a esperança de um futuro melhor. === Classificação: +16 Trilha sonora: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbrsnIYK0jqAYIOE-OoNvwr9wIIjirGU-

Capa por: Stephanie Santos ( @AutoraSSantos ) #-# Aos 18 anos, Alexia não pensa em se comprometer com nada mais além do seu trabalho, sua irmã de três anos e sua faculdade, mas sua vida dá um solavanco surpreendente quando numa noite de estudos, por acaso, ela conhece Stephan. Playboy, riquinho metido a besta, o típico garoto que não quer nada com nada, está numa faculdade por lazer já que é filho de um dos empresários mais influentes do país. Alexia jamais imaginou que algum dia pudesse existir um elo de amizade tão forte entre eles, mas dizem que amizade pode virar amor... será? Um encontro inesperado. Um futuro incerto. Dois seres totalmente diferentes. O destino parece estar a favor deles, mas mesmo assim... ainda está disposto a lhes pregar algumas peças. #-# PLÁGIO É CRIME.

In the future, everyone who's bitten by a zombie turns into one... until Diane doesn't. Seven days later, she's facing consequences she never imagined. * * * * * As civilization collapses under a relentless wave of zombies, Diane and her friends take shelter in a military base. However, while she's rescuing another survivor, Diane gets bitten by one of the monsters. She hides it and runs away, knowing she only has days left to live. But she soon discovers she isn't turning into a zombie - she's turning into something else. --------- Excerpt: I looked up and stared. My reflection looked back at me in the mirror of the dark room. My eyes were literally glowing, there was no mistaking it. It was not a reflection of light, or any of the other excuses I had used or others had assumed. They were glowing a light sapphire blue color. It was not a bright glow, but it was definitely a glow. Glowing eyes were not normal. Okay, at this point I had to admit it, I was no longer normal. What was I then? For that, I had no answer [[Word count: 495,000]] Copyright August 2016. All Rights Reserved. Readers may not copy, alter, or steal this story. Fanfictions are allowed to use my *world* and *zombie rules* as long as credit is given. Cover was lovingly made by JimenaVivancoo.

This is a second view point from my original story - A Different Virus - Heartfire. I highly advise reading the original book first. Intro: Laura was a happy child without a care in the world. She loved her parents and life was perfect. Nothing seemed like it could go wrong. People started talking about a bad flu that was spreading and sending some into a coma. Her parents grew worried and stocked the house in case of a pandemic. Months later another virus appeared. Her family was shocked when the news people started reporting that zombies were actually real and not just part of a horror movie. They were appearing in every country. Her parents reassured her that none of the zombie sightings had been anywhere close to them. Her life is turned upside down when her father ends up in hospital with the bad flu and mother exiles her upstairs for her safety. She was never allowed downstairs again. Weeks pass and the streets become deserted with the exception of the red eyed zombies that wandered around. One night she notices a swiftly moving figure with glowing blue eyes in the street below. Should she call out or remain silent? Is this fleeting shadow something that can help her or could this mysterious figure be even more dangerous than the zombies themselves? ---------------------- Ranked #1 Apr 10, 2018 (A huge thank you to all who read and voted!) This story is copyright and built from my own imagination. This book was a special request from someone who helped me a lot. This viewpoint has less action than the original. The cover was made by @All_AboutAssymetry. A huge thanks to her! Copyright September 2016. All Rights Reserved. Readers may not copy, alter, or steal this story. Fanfictions are allowed to use my *world* and *zombie rules* as long as credit is given.

AVISO SE VOCÊ NÃO LEU OS 200 CAPÍTULOS ANTERIORES PARE AGORA E CLIQUE AQUI... https://www.wattpad.com/story/64068199 ESSE LIVRO É A CONTINUAÇÃO DIRETA DO LIVRO CITADO ACIMA(que teve o limites de capítulos atingidos do wattpad, ou seja 200 partes ) SE VOCÊ NÃO O LEU PARE E VÁ LER SE NÃO VOCÊ VAI FICAR MAIS CONFUSO QUE BÊBADO EM CARROSSEL Sinopse:Muito bom dia, muito boa tarde, muito boa noite onde quer que você esteja. Você já deve ter entrado em contado com algum suporte técnico ou telemarketing, já notou o quão demorado é? Já foi mal atendido por algum atendente? Pois é...eu sei o quanto é complicado buscar esse tipo de serviço(principalmente se tratando de empresas de telefonia), mas vamos deixar a raiva um pouco de lado e vamos observar um pouco a situação dos olhos(ou nesse caso dos ouvidos) de quem está do outro lado da linha. Não! Longe de mim defender as empresas de telemarketing e tele atendimentos, estas têm um longo caminho de melhorias pela frente. Nesse livro veremos alguns casos peculiares que aconteceram com o atendente Ezequiel. Esteja avisado o humor e o nonsense é o pilar principal desse tomo. [LIVRO COM OS ÚLTIMOS 50 ATENDIMENTOS]

O Ceifador de Anjos está descontrolado e sedento por vingança. Seu modus operandi mudou e a escolha das vítimas também. Vincent não está mais só, e sua coleção está cada vez maior. Enquanto os detetives Christopher Lang e Ramona Hale arriscam suas vidas se aproximando cada vez mais do inimigo, Donna Dixon busca garantir a segurança da filha, e para isso, ela está disposta a tudo. LIVRO EM DEGUSTAÇÃO