have romance with the man himself

In a world where a smurf on steroids wants everyone to eat his fucking apples and do his fucking exercise... there is one villain which only wants one form of exercise... and he wants it with you.

* this is just gonna be crazy so prepare yourselves * "it's simple; he's lonely. he needs a friend. and i'm going to be his friend." "she came along, and then i wasn't afraid of losing them; i was afraid of losing her TO them." (((just a note: to all those asking if this is a joke, it was, originally. but I wrote it in such a way that it's hard to tell whether it's a joke or not. so it's up to you!! either way, I hope you enjoy because I worked hard on this!!))) edit: why the fuck did i write this edit 2: the ONLY reason i'm leaving this story up is because other people seem to like it. but reading it now makes me want to peel my own skin off. edit 3: i wrote this in middle school. i am now in university. and the comments just keep coming. something about this just. means a lot to me, despite the fact that this is a hot pile of steaming garbage. it's cute.

SHARTS OKOK idk if they consider me frieneds BUT I'm making this bcz most of them said it's fine so prepare for shartyfemcatboy sorties 😏 THEY ARENT ALL FINISHED ILL DO MORE BTW

the title says it all