"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

When Helena finds a phone on the night train, she decides to text the first number in the list of contacts in order to figure out who it belongs to. ***** Helena Santos hasn't had the easiest life. At twenty-one, she's the legal guardian of her teenage sister, in the final year of her nursing degree, and working night shifts at her small-town's local bar. And things get a lot more complicated when she finds a phone on the train home and decides to text the first number in the list of contacts, in hopes of tracking down its owner. That contact? Adam Bauer; the charismatic, sweet, and refreshingly honest older brother of the person who lost their phone. As the two continue talking, they can't ignore the chemistry and growing feelings between them, but life is never that simple. To make things work, Helena and Adam need to juggle a troubled sister, a meddlesome ex-boyfriend, and one fat lawsuit - all intent on keeping them apart. [[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]] Content and/or Trigger Warning: This story contains swearing, mature themes, and sexual content.

❝Slice of Heaven Pizzeria, carry out or delivery?❞ ❝D-de-delivery.❞ ❝What would you like this evening?❞ ❝A large p-pepperoni penis.❞ ❝...❞ ❝...❞ ❝I don't know about the pepperoni part but I can sure get you everything else.❞ ----- In which a socially awkward girl attempts to order pizza only to meet a flirty meme-loving dork.

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

Natalie received a message saving her from her demise. The sender is none other than Death himself.