A man named Elmo and a man puppet named Kermit fall in love. They were childhood friends, but Kermit moved away, instead of living on Sesame Street, he lives on Disappointment island. That 384738377 miles away from his love. What will he do? We have no clue. Why? Because none of this happens in the story. Again, why? Because my friend and I are fuckers.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, the hot guy's name was Farquaad. Second, there was a part of me that wanted him to farq me. Third, onions. Shrek X farquaad :) K this story might be a joke but Shrek definitely isn't.