BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah "In my humble opinion there's only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic." And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three. When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt's controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other-their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press. Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione's attention and pines for a real marriage with her-even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco's blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body. (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson's career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione's Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco's right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.) NOTE: this is not my work i just know people like reading it here better than ao3

Lena never planned to fall in love. Not with magic, not with Hogwarts, and definitely not with two redheaded idiots who turned her world upside down. But here she is: spellbound, stubborn, and still trying to crochet through the chaos. Now she's learning what home feels like-with her boys. Filled with warm cookies, soft hammocks, and late-morning kisses by the sea. A house that smells like salt and laughter. A love that feels like home. But danger lurks everywhere. Watching. Waiting. A cozy Harry Potter read ☾ ✨MUGGLE WITCH✨ #1 in fredweasley #1 in georgeweasley #1 in harrypotter #1 in fanfiction #1 in weasleytwins #1 in weasley #1 in muggle #1 in fredandgeorge #1 in ronweasley #1 in remuslupin #1 in enemiestolovers #1 in slowburn #1 in hermione #1 in ronweasley #1 in wolfstar #1 in twins #2 in hogwarts #2 in marauders #2 in gryffindor

This is a love story. But not one you've heard before. We're aged up here. Out of the teenage drama and falling into 20-something whirlwinds. Lottie knew Fred and George from her single, awkwardly quiet transplant year at Hogwarts. She was a shy girl, only admiring them from afar, because who wouldn't? They were everything. And she was barely perceived. But time changes people. And now, she's hellfire. Sarcastic, witty, downright unhinged. and they're both hers- well... hopefully. Almost. Yes, this IS a love story. But it's also a filthy, dramatic, cheeky, fluffy, innuendo-laden thrill ride. And people always ask, Fred OR George. Lottie says: Why not both? *** all my original characters are my property. the rest are property of the evil hag she-who-must-not-be-named *** #5 in harry potter #2 in george weasley #5 in fred weasley #6 in fluffandsmut (which is crazy, that's a big tag) #1 in weasley twins

Friends. That's all that they ever were to her, but is that all that they will continue to be? ...... Along with many others, Fred and George had always been some of Y/n's closest friends, but come her fifth year, it seems that they took a new kind of liking to her. She spent a lot of her time with the two, pulling pranks and messing around - just having fun with two of her best friends, not worrying about anything changing. Without her knowledge and to her surprise, it seemed that the twins had caught feelings for the girl and wanted her all to themselves. The question is, are those feelings returned?

Living in a little picturesque town by the beach, Lena's life seemed perfect. If it weren't for her traditional parents who tried to decide her future, she would daydream underneath the big willow tree in her garden, crochet in her squeaking hammock or bake chocolate chip cookies just for herself. Everything changed this summer break when mysterious things occurred and a strangely dressed, white bearded man invited her to talk. A cozy Harry Potter reads ☾ #1 in fredweasley #1 in georgeweasley #1 in harrypotter #1 in fanfiction #1 in weasleytwins #1 in weasley #1 in muggle #1 in fredandgeorge #1 in ronweasley #1 in remuslupin #1 in enemiestolovers #1 in slowburn #1 in hermione #1 in ronweasley #1 in wolfstar #1 in twins #2 in hogwarts #2 in marauders #2 in gryffindor

Oh, man. Here we go. This is Filthy rewritten. Lucille is way smarter... it's not as rushed.... uhhh...and Naomi hardly uses 'cooed' or 'coos'. Treat this book as an alternate universe. Slow updates because I'm a uni student with hardly any time now. Yes, it is still very explicit. Yes, it is toxic. Yes, Lucille uses her inner Granger. No, I cannot tell you who she ends up with in this book for I have no idea, either. (Or do I?). OH, and I introduce you to a new character, Silas Laurent Berkshire. WHO IS HEEEEE?

COMPLETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❝ 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. ❞ ❝ 𝐰𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. ❞ - 5th-7th YR. OOTP-TDH extended summary + triggers in intro #7 in dracomalfoy - 10/31/20 #2 in goldentrio - 11/10/20 #5 in zabini - 12/15/20 #10 in redemption - 12/26/20 #1 in wizard - 01/03/21 #1 in malfoyfamily - 01/07/21

Y/N Riddle has come to Hogwarts? All eyes are on her, the daughter of- "he who must not be named" has come to learn at Hogwarts, but why in 3rd year? Why didn't she start two years ago? Why is she here? Is she still associated with... you know who? One particular boy has his found himself fixed on the young Riddle is Malfoy, but with Y/N and Draco both being very... obnoxious, they clash.

"You'll never love me the way you love her, no matter how many times you tell me you love me, it'll always be her." - Lorenzo Berkshire Fanfic - Spin-off of the Draco Malfoy fanfic, "Filthy" by Babynaomi. - What if the story was told by another point of view, Lorenzo Berkshire's girlfriend's point of view. - Arianna Riddle, is going into her 6th year of Hogwarts as a death eater, her father (Tom Riddle) made her a death eater earlier that summer along with Draco Malfoy, there are a lot of bumpy roads the two have to face. Not just that, but does Lorenzo Berkshire really love Arianna? Or is he using her to cover up the fact he's in love with someone else? - **These characters do not belong to me, these characters are from the book 'filthy' or the movies/books by J.K Rowling**