"Hello?" "Why do '24 hours, 7 days a week' shops have locks on their doors?" "Uh-" "Why is the meaning of life hard to find when we have dictionaries?" "Um perso-" "Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?" "I dont kno-" "If a cow laughed really hard would milk come out its nose?" "Hey-" "Does a postman deliver his own mail?" "MYSTERY PERSON!" "Yes?" "I don't know the answers to your stupid questions." "Okay then, how's life?" ---------------------------------------- Hello fellow readers! Thank you for clicking on my book, I hope you enjoy it. This book is from my imagination so please don't steal it. Highest ranking in short story: #5 ** this story is completed ** My story is edited but I know it's not perfect. If anyone finds any spelling or grammar mistakes feel free to comment in the comment section. Thank you.

Kira West, I am deeply in love with you. Your lustrous hair and twinkling eyes have captured me since I first laid my eyes on your smokin' body. Your dazzling smile is incomparable to any mortal object, and your laugh reminds me of soft bells ringing in the distance. This may seem a bit soon to ask you this, but will you do me the honor of slapping me with a loaf of bread? I understand that it may be too soon in the relationship to do such an intimate act, but I feel as if I know you, that I understand you. If you wish, you may leave me a response on the space below, and leave it under your desk after your first period. Much love, Archer P.S. I'll still love you even if you decline me of this wonderful offer. - highest ranking: #23 in short story featured on every list for short story third place in the winners awards