They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Years of isolation had made Chrissy give up on being rescued from her prison in the creepy old house somewhere in the mangled dark woods. And if she can't be rescued, she certainly can't be saved - from the curse forcing her to wear a mask for the rest of her life that is. So when a handsome stranger seeks shelter during a winter storm, she has a hard time hoping he can break her curse, especially when she really isn't sure he exists all together. You see isolation can do horrible things to a person. Perhaps the most horrible? Make them lose their mind. A retelling of Beauty and the Beast like you've never read before.

"Ignore their stares, they do nothing but remind you that you are alive." When Alexandra Knight was offered a rare scholarship to attend the most prestigious boarding school in Europe, she didn't have to think twice before accepting it. It doesn't take long for her schoolmates to notice that she is different from them, and Alexandra quickly becomes the centre of attention when she runs, quite literally, into the most popular boy in school- just not in a good way. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • THE ROYALS SERIES, pt.1 Copyrighted.

one was shy, the other was sad, together they were the two who loved art, both with rosy cheeks and caring hearts. [highest ranking]: #4 in short story 6.24.15 book one of the "nameless" series

He knowingly left me heartbroken, alone, and destroyed. He unknowingly left me with child... His child. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19 year-old Emmalynn Locke gave up everything for him. But she never once complained because without him she didn't know who she was. Emmalynn could have been somebody, somebody big. But she gave it all up to marry her "one true love" straight out of high school and follow him through his college football dreams. She did it all without complaint. That is until she came home after a very important doctors appointment and seeing divorce papers and her luggage at the front door. Alone and broken Emmalynn refused to tell him the news and have her child be rejected as she was. She vowed to herself from that day forward to make him regret ever leaving her for his NFL career. He will always remember what he left behind...

In which one night isn't enough. Non fiction - #7 Short Story - #41

Stephanie Hersh has always lived a sheltered life, but that is until she meets John Schmidt. The man who manages to make her actually feel free and loved. He is the man who brings her joy and laughter. The love of her life. Her one true love. Or so she thought... Who ever thought that your own soulmate could hurt you in ways that were unimaginable? Mentally, emotionally, and physically. Love hurts, but what hurts the most is trying to find a way to escape it... Completed 11/08/14