"fia is a bitch, mercy is a homewrecker, calum will lick anything, luke collects his own used condoms, ashton is apparently clean [no one actually believes him], no one knows what the hell michael is doing here, laurel ate noah sanchez's sugar thong, theo is half a virgin, and drea is blowing everyone under the tables." "shut up jonah, you're still a virgin!" [please note: i can't, for the life of me, remember what this story was supposed to be about so i changed the description because i decided to go in a different direction. i will hopeful be updating sometime in the near future.]