My fav humour books
32 stories
Midnight Messages by awkward_tumbleweed
awkward_tumbleweed
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Unknown Number: I buried the body. What now? Me: Umm...what? Unknown Number: Ah shit. Sorry, wrong number! Could you like...delete that message? Me: Will the police be able to track it back to me if i don't? Unknown Number: ...yes. Me: Ok. Deleted. Bye. [Completed] Cover by @daisybrowser
Hot Line | ✓ by iwearheelys
iwearheelys
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in which a guy calls a sex hotline just looking for a friend. ©iwearheelys, all rights reserved.
Purely Arrogant | ✓ by QueenOfTheDorks
QueenOfTheDorks
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He's popular. I have one friend. He's outgoing. I'm quiet. He has a girlfriend. I'm alone. I'm shy and he's purely arrogant. But they say like forces repel and opposites attract. And we're complete opposites. ════════ "Hello, my name is Juliette Hunter and I think you're an asshole" I said to him, turning my body away so I could, once again, try and grab the book I so desperately needed. "Your turn" I added, after a moment of silence, realising that he was too stunned to speak. His recovery was lightning fast however, as he replied with "Hi Juliette, my name is Levi Knight" He paused, allowing his eyes to roam my body, slowly taking me in from head to toe. I looked him in the eyes, defiant in not allowing him to get to me, as my cheeks began to burn. "And I think you could qualify as one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid eyes on" he continued smoothly. I couldn't think of a smart remark in response to what he had said so I mumbled a "fuck off" before returning to the bookshelf, I was sure my face turned crimson. "Just out of curiosity," Levi continued, now leaning against the bookshelf. I wasn't going to warn him about the fact that it was slowly tipping over. "You're single right?" I wasn't going to tell him that his assumption offended me either. Instead I replied with "Just out of curiosity" I said in a mocking tone "You're single now too, aren't you?" "You're a feisty one, aren't you?" "You're not gonna leave me alone, are you?" I muttered, attempting once more, to grab the book I so badly needed for English. "You're really hot, you know?" "You're really annoying, you know?"
Stop That Hacker! UNEDITED VERSION (2020) by KatherineYork7
KatherineYork7
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The Devil's den; a notorious hangout for high school seniors, computer geniuses and competitive gamers. And a home to the most feared hacker between the students. Not the place for an innocent young highschooler to find themselves in. Francy's oldest brother is one to be a regular and he made her swear neither she nor his other siblings would ever under any circumstances come near that place. But when Francy's cat gets into a painting accident, she rushes to her nearest brother for help, straight into the Devil's den. Only instead of her brother, she meets the Devil himself. And just so it happens he has a soft spot for cats.
Agent 13 (Book 1) by Quidam13
Quidam13
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"With all due respect sir, adding a new member to this team will only slow us down." "On the contrary, if anything your team will slow her down." *** She's the ghost story you tell around a camp fire. The monster that hides in your closet. The nightmare that wakes you from your sleep. She's the definition of the word 'deadly'. She never smiles, never shows any emotion other than a blank stare. Unless, she's pissed, then it shows. She doesn't trust any of the other agents, only the chief. She doesn't play nice with others. She's a solo agent, always works alone, but that's about to change. Respect her and she'll take a bullet for you. Mistreat her and she'll put a bullet in you...if you're lucky. She's Agent 13... ***Book 1*** Highest Ranking: #1 in Action
Hired To Love by JordanLynde
JordanLynde
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Henley agrees to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for a fee, falling in love as she wonders - how is he involved in her brother's false conviction? ****** Henley Linden's brother is in jail for a crime he didn't commit, and she'll take any job to raise the money needed to free him. Soon, she's agreed to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for ten thousand dollars, so his mother will ease up the pressure on him to find a wife. But once Henley is enmeshed in Bennett's world, he falls for her, and she starts to have feelings for him as well. Despite her romance with Bennett, as she grows closer to the Calloways, Henley realizes they are somehow involved in her brother's conviction. Journeying deeper into a world of wealth and conspiracies, Henley is forced to rely on Bennett, though doing so could cost her everything. [[word count: 200,000-250,000 words]]
Sleepwalker by humored
humored
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When the quiet girl in Clayton Hugh's chemistry class comes knocking on his door at five in the morning barely covered up in her little pajamas, inattentive, and drooling like crazy, he has no choice but to take her inside. But once Lucy Walker wakes up inside a room she has never seen before wearing an over-sized t-shirt and gym shorts, you can imagine the pure panic setting in her. The subtle addition of Clayton entering the room shirtless doesn't help much either. After three years of fawning over him, leave it up to her sleepwalking to finally get Clayton Hugh to notice her.
Seeing Shane Gray ✓ by ScarlettBlackDaisy
ScarlettBlackDaisy
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| a true story about a boy who hides his pain behind his smile and a girl determined to see it | - FREE story with paid Exclusive Chapters and Writer Reveals - Twice Featured - Taylor Ming is trying to cope with the aftermath of her twin brother's suicide, and her depressed mother and avoidant father aren't really helping. With one of her friends' self-harming while another deals with a chronically ill boyfriend, being diagnosed with Diabetes and forced to use insulin thrice a day is Taylor's worst nightmare. When she catches the school's golden boy Shane Gray popping pills in a bathroom, then, Taylor is sure she's in a living hell. Is he depressed? Is he using drugs? She's afraid of losing more people and strikes a deal with Shane. He'll tell her if he ever has the urge to hurt himself and she'll keep his secret. What neither of them knows, however, is that he's already hurting himself without knowing it. And Shane's life is falling apart quicker than Taylor's. Because life isn't black and white and, sometimes, seeing gray can make all the difference. Warning: The story talks about suicide, self-harm, drug use, and mental health problems which may be triggering for some readers.
Knowing Xavier Hunt ✓ by ScarlettBlackDaisy
ScarlettBlackDaisy
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|| Featured FREE story with exclusive paid chapters - previously a paid story || When Haley discovers the truth behind Xavier, whose silence holds a deeper meaning, she sets her mind on making his life better one small step at a time. ***** Haley Rosamond is happy with her simple life, content under the wing of her father. Well-protected, she has no idea of the darkness surrounding Xavier Hunt, with his all-black attire and infrequent presence in school-accompanied by his bruises and scars. That is, until Haley catches a glimpse of Xavier's reality and is made to question everything she knows about family and life in general. The truth, she realizes, couldn't be more different from everything she has heard. Supported by her father, Haley sets her mind on helping Xavier any way she can, and what begins with tutoring sessions, free food, and random acts of kindness blooms into friendship and something a little more. But when Haley's admission into her dream college and another tragedy in Xavier's life threaten to undo everything she has worked for, Haley needs to decide if she'll stick by Xavier or simply be another person in his life that disappears. [[word count: 80,000-90,000 words]] Cover designed by Holly Thurston