James Delaney brings on a maid to care for House Delaney. And they have so much in common! A semi-AU set somewhere in the first season of Taboo, with an original character. Lorna hasn't moved in and James is already mostly over Zilpha. But who is this young interloper with a penchant for casual witchcraft!? REVIEWS: "It's really dense text," gushes reader unfamiliar with canon. "I haven't gotten around to reading it yet," admits long-time friend of author. "..." grunts Tom Hardy (probably). *** Rating: R (language, sexuality, adult themes) NOT FOR CHILDREN. CHAPTER SUMMARY: Prelude: In which James Keziah Delaney has nothing to do with what happened to the maid. Ch. 1: In which James Keziah Delaney gets a better look at the maid. Ch. 2: In which James Keziah Delaney goes on a dream walk to visit the maid. Ch. 3: In which James Keziah Delaney sleeps over. Ch. 4: In which James Keziah Delaney makes the maid cry. Ch. 5: In which James Keziah Delaney moves the maid into his room. Ch. 6: In which James Keziah Delaney teaches the maid how. Ch. 7: In which James Keziah Delaney really gives the maid the what for. Ch. 8: In which James Keziah Delaney and the maid bunk up in the attic for three days. Ch. 9: In which James Keziah Delaney reveals to the maid that he is, in fact, a monster. Ch. 10: In which James Keziah Delaney finds reassurance that the monster is useful. Ch. 11: In which James Keziah Delaney always has someone waiting for him at home. Chapter titles and lyrics provided by Bill Callahan/Smog. All images, lyrics, and characters belong to their respective copyright holders. Matilda Woodruff and any other original characters belong to me. This is just for fun, because Season 2 is SO FAR AWAY.

❝ 𝒂𝒊𝒏'𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 ?❞ In which a man made of ice meets a girl made of fire, and melts. [𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒]