Having a bad day? Need a good laugh? This book is just for you! (A compilation of jokes I have found online & offline. Credits goes to the many humorous authors.)

he's still in love with the ghost of who she used to be, so he goes to find it (really amazing cover by @bateaux)

1) I've been on Wattpad for a good minute, and I think I can safely say I've seen it all. 2)I love Wattpad, and all its inhabitants dearly, most of 'em anyway... And finally... 3) These are all my damn opinions, and it's staying that way. So. I give you my crappy rants on Wattpad's little imperfections. *Disclaimer* There's a lot of cursing....like a shitload of it. But hey, it's what I do best. Don't get booty-hurt later. **Disclaimer Two** most of this was written YEARS ago when i was barely a teenager, including everything above this lil paragraph. so some of the views and opinions i share here have changed, bc duh, i'm older now. but i won't edit anything. i'd like WPP to remain authentic and reflective of the time it was written. my own personal time capsule if u will. pls keep that in mind, thank u. <3 ✨if anyone is inspired to start their own rant book after reading this glorified 20-something part complaining session, let me know! tag, message or post on my board so i can read it! i love knowing that the ramblings of a teenager inspired someone else to write ✨

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

01 in Humor [16-09-17] Georgia Brooks, the notorious, troublesome tomboy is the caretaker of Clark Brown, the mysterious, cold man who is an undercover billionaire. Georgia's motive is to uncover him and just make him happy. But what when secrets are revealed and the badass tomboy is close to tears? Join them on this rocky road of adventures which includes their occasional fights and revenge, stolen kisses, trip to a circus, journey to England, landing in jail and much more! Excerpt from a chapter : His lips curled in disdain and just when he was about to unwrap the towel, I quickly turned around showing my back to him. What the fucking hell? What if I saw his thing? "Don't you care? Like honestly, couldn't you just order like your usual self to get the hell out of your bedroom or just . . . turn around for you to change? You could have at least warned me that you were freeing your willy, I would have closed my eyes!" I rambled and felt myself feeling all jittery again. He didn't reply and I could mentally picture him scoffing or rolling his pretty eyes. A part of me which never saw a grown man's buddy down there was curious as to how it looked. Was it really long and monstrous like a huge sausage they describe in erotic scenes? Was it soft like a banana or hard like a radish? Was is it like spring that when you poke it, it would go wagging like a dog's tail? A teeny little peek would do no harm . . . (cover : calalu)

❝Most stories start with two people meeting each other and falling in love. Well, guess what? This isn't most stories.❞ * * * "Hello, am I talking to Miss Skylar O'Brien?" said the young but very classy man standing on my porch. "Yes, you are. Who's asking?" I frowned, unsure. "My name is Nathan Samuel and I work as an agent for the universal timeline." ''Okay? Can I help you?'' I asked. An agent for the universal timeline? What kind of job was that? "Indeed, you can. I am here because by traveling back in time, we accidentally interfered in your life and changed your future in a way we can not ignore." "What in the world are you talking about?" I stepped back, ready to slam the door in the face of this obviously disturbed guy. "Miss, please hear me out. What I'm trying to tell you is.." He paused for what seemed to be the longest wait I had ever experienced. "We acidentally stopped you from meeting the love of your life." ---- This book is registered and protected by the Canadian and USA government and under copyright laws. Anyone who steals it (the main idea or the story in itself) will be involved in important legal problems. The age of the thief does NOT matter. PLAGIARIZING IS A CRIME PUNISHABLE BY LAW. Don't be that person who gets a permanent criminal record for stealing other people's work. Get your own ideas.

Highest rank - #1 in humor 28/9/2017 [Book 1] Imagine this ~ You think that you are sleeping in your comfortable bed, next to your three-year-old brother, but then you open your eyes to see three good-looking guys staring at you. The worst part is that you are in a moving car, laying on their laps. ××××× Ariel O'Connor is a sassy, sarcastic, funny, caring, and confident 19-year-old. What will happen when she wakes up in the wrong place in an unusual situation? What will she do? Here's a tip: Watch your language, and do not eat her Oreos. #Book 2: You Are In Hell Boys #Book 3: We'll End up in Hell Boys ××××× DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM THIS BOOK! All Rights Reserved 2017

Death should be calm, death should be peaceful, death should happen when you're old, but death doesn't ask for an age and death doesn't care who you are. Marley learns this life lesson when spectating a hockey match literally knocks her out. She races away from her fears and discovers the only person who can see her is Trent. Scared of going home, Marley attaches herself to Trent. The only thing that'll rid Trent of Marley is answers. Is she dead, is she in limbo and what happens next? While scouting for answers and discovering her new ghost abilities, the pair find themselves in an otherworldly relationship. Things become complicated when Marley's memory and ghost fade. The expression six feet under just gave her a reality check.

{Book One of the Broken Series} gone: ; [adjective] 1. lost; hopeless. 2. no longer in existence; dead or extinct. "One day. I promised myself on the murky days. One day I will reach up and touch the stars." Faye Woods was rich, popular, and stunning. Faye Woods was the definition of perfect . But now, Faye Woods is dead. She threw herself off the rooftop of her highschool, Wither Heights, only leaving a diary full of torn pages and sloppy cursive of unspoken words. ~ WARNING: This book contains abuse, violence, strong language, suicide thoughts, suicide, alcohol, death, and anorexia. ~ -Accomplishments- {100 reads} • 30/11/19 {500 reads} • 10/2/20 {1,000 reads} • 3/6/20 {2,000 reads} • 15/1/21 🥇 first place in the perdurable awards