"i've been drinking and staying up too late reliving bad decisions i thought eventually my ranting here would fix it i really think sometimes there's something that i'm missing oh, i know spiraling is miserable i should probably go back home why does that feel difficult, difficult? oh, I hope i wake up invisible i'd be someone no one knows i guess I'm just difficult, difficult" carmen lancaster has always felt out of place. back in los angeles, she was just the daughter of the impossibly perfect lancaster family, and now, in the outer banks, she's the new girl everyone thinks they already know. a kook by default, she's supposed to love the parties, the status, and the shallow friendships. but carmen's never been one to follow the script. between her restless nights, trying to figure out who she really is, and days spent dodging her parents' expectations, she can't help but feel like she's spiraling. maybe she's just difficult. and maybe there's more to life than playing the part everyone expects her to.

𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 - 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗅 𝗄𝖾𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗌𝗁 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝗁𝗎𝗇𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗀𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖽𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾． 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 - 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗋𝖽 𝗀𝗋𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾． 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝖩𝖩 𝖬𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆 𝗈𝖼 （𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋 𝖮𝗐𝖾𝗇𝗌） 𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗇𝖾 －𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀

BOOK 1 My name is Cassidy Reed. And live a few blocks away from John B so we mostly see each other. An old fish shack on the marsh. I live with my dad who isn't even around most of the time and when he is he's usually wasted on the couch or yelling at me. It's been 10 years since my mother walked out the door leaving me with my father who used to be a great dad but now I don't even know him. He started to drink right after my mom left and blamed me for it saying that I'm the reason she left, I'm useless, and all that type of shit. And not going to lie he scares me when he's drunk, so I lock myself in my room but that doesn't keep him from coming in. He's like those type of dad how do you call it... oh yeah, an abusive dad. He doesn't like me hanging out with the boys and Kie but I don't listen and when I don't it goes all wrong and I end up locking myself in the bathroom and crying. So my life is miserable and sometimes I think how will it be if I'm just gone for good and never come back to my dad or the house I live in that I can't even call a safe place because it isn't safe. The only place safe is when I'm with my friends that's what I call home. That's my life isn't it great? It's full of butterflies and unicorns. It's amazing. ( Gosh, I'm so done. ) And that's where this story starts. An abusive dad ( daddy issues ), no mother ( mommy issues ), and the fact that ( I forgot to tell you ) I get bullied at school, why? No idea. That's my story the life as a Pogue." [ Started : February, 24, 2023 Ended : ? ] JJ MayBank x Oc ( best friend ⇢ lovers ) Outer Banks Season 1 & 2