lonleylove
As I flipped through the pages my heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst. Sweat rimmed my forhead my hands were clammy and my throat was dry. I stopped where I left off, this page frightened me as I looked at the crimson rusty dried smears all over the page. I took a deep breath after all I got my self into this and I had to finish it.......or else.
October 1st midnight
Want to know something?......I love pain especially the pain I cause myself. Want to know why? Well its because you can make sure its done right. you know how deep you have to go in order to feel. The worst thing is when you finally go numb, then you have to find a different way of pain.... That's the fun part. Experimenting The type of pain I like now is using a blade. to hear that sickening slice its like music to my ears soon after a stinging burn runs through the cut slowly spreading through your body. watching the crimson red flow down your arm until it drops down on your open journal. i could cut and reopen my cuts for hours......want to know what it feels like? pure ecstasy especially when you taste the blood it always makes me moan the salty metallic taste is like chocolate to me its my own dessert.
i slammed the book closed my eyes wide in horror the farther i go the sicker it gets. i hide the book under the floor board again and jump into my bed making sure to light the candles and not disturb the salt. taking a deep breath i try to drift off to sleep thinking what have i got myself into.