Absurd Stories

[ONGOING] [NO HOPE LEFT] Okay please before you consider running away from this thinking it's booty cheeks please just please read chapter 1. You won't find this anywhere else please i am begging you i have to feed my children, im not even fucking joking man please.

book one of three: ✨️here✨️ ✨️whole✨️ ✨️healthy✨️ Sarah a 17 year old girl is throw around and abused by her family. Sarah's life is draining in every way possible but she stays strong for 4 reasons one. she's falling in love with a boy shes bet online two. she knows if shes leaves the world her beloved dog will be brutally neglected and abused. three. her best friend sky is dealing with a lot and she wants to help her. from dealing with divorced parents, multiple mental issues, and the love of her life in the UK. sarah wants amd will help in any way possible. and 3. she wants to prove them wrong in everyway possible but everyday is a challenge. every second of the day she has thoughts of drawing blood to bring peace. is she strong enough? ✨️I connect with sarah in many ways, so if you have any negative comments, please heat them to yourself.✨️ ✨️this series should be a trio but if i dont end up writing the third I am terribly, sorry. please reach out to me if I haven't finished something and its been over 3 months.✨️

a death machine with a cute name in various worlds of hurt goes on some real wacky and silly adventures!! THIS FANFIC WILL CONTINUE TO GET MORE CHAPTERS AS TIME PROGRESSES. (or at least try to)

When he was but a young boy, Ragnvaldr was forced to watch as a roving band of Elvish Mercenaries put his village to the torch and slaughter his people. Helpless and alone, the boy flees with nothing but the clothes on his back and his fathers war axe on his shoulder. After nearly two decades of bitter survival in the harsh wilds and a sizeable bounty on his head, the now twenty eight year old man hunted those responsible for taking everything from him. Guided by his ancestors, he closes in on his final target. However, his path of destruction is impeded when he encounters a motley crew of adventurers going by the name of Vox Machina. [VEX'AHLIA x MALE OC]

The Archena's Sebuah sekolah berasrama yang dipenuhi kehangatan. Ada begitu banyak kenangan yang sulit dilupakan dari tempat ini-tempat di mana canda, tawa, suka, dan duka bercampur menjadi satu. Archena, sang kepala sekolah sekaligus pemilik Archena's School, bukan hanya sosok pemimpin. Di balik ketegasannya, ia begitu disayangi para siswa. Baginya, asrama bukan sekadar tempat tinggal, melainkan rumah kedua. Para siswa bahkan akrab memanggilnya Buna, karena kehadirannya mampu menggantikan sosok seorang ibu. Di asrama ini, cerita-cerita terukir bukan dengan tinta di atas kertas, melainkan lewat momen-momen kebersamaan. Dari kekacauan kecil di dapur, rebutan teman, hingga keisengan yang bikin geleng kepala-semuanya membentuk warna tersendiri dalam kehidupan mereka. "Bunaaa, Hajel gosongin dapur lagi buunn!" "Yaya juga ikutan, buunn, bukan Hajel doang!" "Bunaaa, Sunoo-nya Vio direbutin Mahesa sama Vanoo buunn!" "Bunaaa, Azzura godain anak kelas sebelah buunn!" "Buunn, Snow manjat pohon kayak monyet!" "Buunn, Chayra dibilang ompong!" "Bunaaa, Diego kemana buun, Zoyya kangen!" "Bunaaa, Nella suka curut buunn!" "Allahuakbar... anak-anak ku..." Begitulah keseharian para penghuni asrama Archena. Mereka tak pernah berhenti menguji kesabaran kepala sekolah yang sekaligus mereka sayangi layaknya seorang bunda. Mau tahu bagaimana serunya tingkah mereka yang di luar nalar? Mari kita intip bersama cerita mereka ☺

13x featured wattpad story. Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict. The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men. What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?

In a world of magic and dragons, humanity's greatest hope is the Summoned Heroes. The Church of the Goddess, the only institution capable of performing the summoning ritual, did what any reasonable institution would do. They made a catalogue. Why rely on fate when you can have a price list? Different tiers. Different classes. Different budgets. From premium, battle-tested champions, to "affordable" options for struggling kingdoms. Because even the poor deserve their own personal hero. Unfortunately, one such "budget-conscious" kingdom got... Theo. A professional séance scammer. A necromancer who couldn't control the dead. A defective product. So, they did the logical thing: They threw him away. What no one knows is, he can summon the dead, even though his system only allows him to summon souls from Earth. From Archimedes to Nikola Tesla, Julius Caesar to George S. Patton, Leonardo da Vinci to... Steve Jobs? Men who shaped civilizations, now answering to a scammer. A kingdom forged from Earth's greatest minds to devour other kingdoms in Civara... and perhaps even the Goddess herself. There is just one problem. Right next door lies the Demon Kingdom, And it has been waiting to devour Civara, long before Theo ever arrived. --- New Chapter: Tue, Thurs, Sat

Jill's life looks ordinary on the surface, but her past? It's a goddamn mess. When she finds her old diaries, the memories come flooding back-the school wars, the wild parties, and the elaborate revenge plots that made her who she is. From her eccentric Gran to 'that one guy' she can't seem to forget, Jill navigates the fine line between being a stubborn brat and a secret agent in the making. Welcome to a world where secrets are currency and chaos is the only rule. Let the anarchy begin! [this is a translation of my original book, so report me if you see any mistakes]

Betrayed and murdered in his past life, a cynical former manager is resurrected into a world of magic with a single mission: never to be used again. Armed with unstoppable hypnosis powers, he vows to rule through absolute mesmeric control and serve only himself. There's just one problem... his "OP" abilities are totally bogus, and he's the only one who doesn't know it!

A Collection Of The Most Simple Kind...

We put our hand on the pulse of society and tear its beating heart from its chest, sinking our sharpened teeth into the juicy flesh. That's responsible journalism. Sponsored by Phil's Flame Retardant Undergarments, the Community Supermax Sporting and Seafood Festival Complex, Lynus' Blood Goat Farm, and a mysterious 'Clacking' sound. Brought to you by the direct consequences of the lucidity of your mind. Community News with Waymond Throckmorton - Your only source of information!

In Planet Pop Star where odd creatures, humans and dragons exists, our protagonist, Kirby, starts an adventure to collect at least 6 very important objects to exchange to the legendary comet Nova that has the capacity to make a wish true, and its going to be..............DRAGONS STOP KILLING EVERYONE¡¡¡¡¡

Lingling this is Orm. Orm this is Lingling . [Silence ] - What's your last name ? - Kwong - I love you LINGLING KWONG - uh ? - My cutie 2G girlfriend, let's write stories on us so no one will steal you from me.

A day one most peculiar where low-born Hendrick found himself in one situation most normal where he found a farmer guarding a certain bucket. where his companion also there just existing.

This is a silly mystery story about a lemon who travels around his town, solving the case of his chinchilla, Guiseppe, going missing. Hope you enjoy!

Us people on Earth rarely think about what is happening in the rest of the solar system. I'm here to report that it can get pretty wild out there with all kinds of behaviors that we know nothing about!

dude idk. my thoughts. shit post. um idk jjsgshs might just put the fear in god. who knows 🤷‍♀️

A story about a delivery guy in the sity of near future who finds out he was a fairy

In response to a (comic) story that's an unexplored world, this is a separation to a disorgnized, unthought of project that was seemingly for fun. Does the lore make sense? Certainly not. The lore is upto interpretation. Whatever is in your curiosity, I'll try to answer. I am unsure how deep this story would be considering the randomness it has. The cover is temporary btw, so I'll be deep in thought on how it should look.

On a frozen battlefield, a legendary warrior meets the most ridiculous challenger imaginable. Sephiroth, the One-Winged Angel, meets Eric Cartman-a rotund boy with an oversized ego and zero sense of danger. What follows is equal parts absurd and epic: insults fly, powers clash, and a battle of sheer audacity unfolds. One is a godlike swordsman; the other... well, he's Eric Cartman. Chaos, comedy, and a clash of worlds collide in a fight neither will forget.