Absurdhumor Stories

Hey folks! Here is another short story collection, filled with absurd and unhinged material! No one in the fictional realm acts normal! Normalcy doesn't exist! Enter if you dare! ;)

A family from Ohio eats at a diner in New Jersey, and deal with messy cheeseburgers.

Don't exhaust yourself chasing after luck. Perhaps luck is the one chasing you, eager to take a bite of you. Cover art by the talented: @sousoumasousou

short stories of necos making whatever or some shit ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⡿⣿⡿⣿⣟⢿⡛⡗⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⢾⢽⣳⢯⢿⢽⢯⢷⣳⣟⡷⡛⢕⢎⡪⡪⢎⢯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⡿⣿⣻⣟⣯⢯⢿⢽⡽⡯⣯⢿⢽⢯⢿⣽⣳⣗⣟⡷⣝⢜⡘⣜⢜⢼⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡓⡯⡍⡇⡏⠮⣸⢨⢪⡿⡽⣯⢯⡿⣽⡽⣯⡿⣟⡾⣞⡷⡯⣯⢯⡷⡩⡒⡝⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣞⢜⢌⢖⢜⢝⢜⢼⢽⣞⣯⢯⡯⣯⢷⣻⣳⣟⣽⢽⢯⢯⢿⢽⢽⣽⣳⢧⣳⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡝⡎⡎⣕⢅⢧⢿⡽⣞⡾⢯⣟⣽⢽⡳⡏⡾⡱⢷⣧⡛⣬⣭⣷⣵⣫⢟⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⡹⡢⣃⣯⢯⡯⣷⢋⣟⠮⣞⣏⣪⣗⢕⢱⣫⣾⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢵⡫⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣞⣦⢯⡯⣯⢣⣪⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣟⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⡙⢷⢮⣎⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡋⡢⡿⣽⢣⢱⣿⣷⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣟⡿⣿⣼⢿⣟⣿⠰⡑⡍⢯⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣼⡧⡱⡿⡝⢔⢹⣿⣿⣧⡀⣿⣿⡿⣻⣾⣿⣽⣟⣿⣺⣿⣽⡏⢎⣬⡊⡆⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣯⣮⣼⣐⢍⢻⢻⣷⣽⣷⣟⢿⣻⣾⣺⣽⣯⣾⢿⢞⢜⠔⢼⣿⣷⣮⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⡷⣿⢾⣻⣿⢷⡡⡣⢫⢳⢿⣽⡿⣷⣟⣯⣿⡾⣻⡑⢽⣷⣧⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣽⢿⣻⣿⣻⣽⣿⡇⢎⣮⡢⡣⡩⡝⣝⣭⣹⣲⣮⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣚⣿⣽⣿⣻⣽⣿⣽⡾⣝⢶⣧⣻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣟⣯⣿⣿⣽⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡕⡟⢯⢻⢺⢓⢝⢝⢼⣿⣷⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⡝⣟⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣾⣾⣾⣗⢵⢱⢿⢿⢟⢯⣚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢪⣾⢿⣿⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⣿⡪⡲⡵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣟⣿⣷⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

Luna Montalvo lives the perfect influencer life until she discovers someone is editing her photos, posting in her name, and making decisions she would never dare to make. But when she investigates with help from Damián, the super-secret hacker, she discovers a truth that will terrify her: her digital alter ego isn't an impostor. It's a part of her that came to life and is doing everything the "real" Luna doesn't have the courage to do. Donating to charities, confronting former bosses, pursuing artistic dreams... all while Luna watches helplessly from the other side of the screen. In a Madrid where the line between digital and physical is thinner than anyone imagines, she must decide: merge with her braver version or fight against her to the bitter end?

**The Box** **DISCLAIMER:** This story is meant to be insane and have the weirdest scenarios. The names are intentionally ridiculous, adding a quirky element to the story. Enjoy the madness! --- Mum always said to never open the box, but like the smooth-brained kid I am, I bribed my big brother, Cyanide, with all of my Halloween candy to join me on this adventure. I'm Almond, and I'm determined to find the key to the box! Our journey begins with a leap into our mad scientist mom's particle accelerator, launching us into a surreal world of floating islands, sandy dunes, and a giant key atop a fantasy mountain. From a broken flying car fueled by actual cyanide to a warp drive crash landing, we encounter BananaMcSnazz, a monocle-wearing monkey who reveals that this is just the beginning. With a portal gun, he sends us to an algebraic world filled with even more bizarre adventures. Will we find the key and unlock the mysteries of the box? Or will the weirdness consume us first? **Join Almond and Cyanide on their wild, nonsensical journey in "The Box" and get ready for the next chapter: "Almond and Cyanide and Who?: The Geometry World."**

In a chaotic university theater club where scripts change daily and everyone treats absurd symbolism as serious art, Jiyeon is happiest playing background roles like ghosts and trees. Then Garam, a calm and polite outsider helping with props, starts showing up regularly. He doesn't seem like he belongs in the club's creative chaos-but he keeps coming back anyway. As rehearsals turn into late-night messes of improvisation, accidental genius, and emotional disasters, Jiyeon realizes she's starting to like him... and becomes increasingly terrible at acting normal around him. Meanwhile, Garam slowly discovers that the club's "ridiculous" performances are unexpectedly sincere-and that Jiyeon, quiet and absurdly committed to her roles, stands out more than anyone else. A soft slice-of-life romance about youth, imagination, and finding meaning in the things people usually overlook.

Julián Atienza thought being a spy would be more glamorous. Instead of Aston Martin chases and martinis, his reality consists of infiltrating neighbor parties with cheap wigs from the Spy Shop. But when a classified package disappears during Felisa's birthday party, Julián must become a domestic Hercule Poirot to retrieve it without blowing his cover. The problem is that Don Evaristo, the building's omniscient doorman, seems to know exactly who he is and what he's looking for. And objects start appearing and disappearing following a logic that defies all espionage training. In a Madrid where the neighborhood can be more dangerous than any international organization, Julián will discover that the strangest mysteries hide behind the most ordinary doors.

When you're trapped in a castle of your own imagination, and there's no way out, you're toast. Not only that, but the castle is run by a girl!

The moon whispered my destiny through the cracks of time. The stars aligned. The ancestors gathered. Angels descended. Ancient prophecies awakened. Noah arrived. Moses appeared. The Four Horsemen rode across the horizon. Even the burning bush showed up. The universe had spent eternity preparing for this moment. Every sign pointed toward a single path. Every voice demanded an answer. Every force in existence waited. There was only one problem. I didn't care. A ridiculous parody of chosen-one stories, cosmic destiny, ancient prophecies, and every dramatic fantasy trope ever written. A tale where the fate of existence hangs in the balance, celestial beings hold their breath, and the greatest buildup in history crashes headfirst into the world's simplest response. The ancestors waited. The universe waited. The burning bush waited. And I said: "Nah." 🖕 Comedy • Parody • Satire • Fantasy • Absurd Humor 😭🔥🌳🏆💀

Live Patrols: Wicketaw County - is an improvised roleplay fiction presented as a recovered body-cam broadcast from a rural police department that probably shouldn't be livestreaming its patrols. In the series premiere, Officer Charlie James begins the first-ever live broadcast of *Live Patrols* with cautious optimism, a hot cup of coffee, and no idea what he's about to walk into. His first call: a rural disturbance involving a goat, a leaf blower, and a situation that escalates far beyond anyone's job description. This story is written as a **documented roleplay session**, blending improvisation, procedural detail, and absurd comedy. It's not a traditional short story - it's a moment-by-moment incident log where professionalism slowly loses a fistfight with reality. If you enjoy: * Body cam-style storytelling * Dry, situational comedy * Small-town chaos * Characters trying *very hard* to remain serious while the world refuses ...then welcome to Wicketaw County. --- I will be posting this story on Royal Road ---

A tragic oneshot. Snoop Dogg didn't mean to fall for a ten-ton Ice Age relic. But sometimes fate rolls one... perchance. Trunk-deep. An unforgettable collision of ice age fury and West Coast swagger, Snoop Dogg and the Woolly Mammoth shatters every boundary of erotica and epic storytelling. Equal parts primal passion and existential reckoning, this one-shot delivers trunk-deep heat and heartbreak that lingers long after the last ember fades. Prepare to question everything you thought you knew about love, extinction, and what it means to be truly wild.

Jessica Bacon has a difficult time with the manager at McDonald's, and all heck breaks loose!

Merl is a pipe-smoking, Dickens-loving, overweight academic who just wants to be left alone to read in peace. But when a slow-moving, feces-spawning pandemic wipes out most of humanity and culminates in a full-on zombie apocalypse, Merl has no choice but to rise from his velvet settee, grab his trusty sledgehammer, and defend what remains of his quiet, tweed-coated life. Told in Merl's hilariously rambling voice, this short story is a mashup of zombie horror, literary satire, and unapologetic absurdity. Think Shaun of the Dead meets A Tale of Two Cities-with more gray turds and fewer surviving neighbors. A 5,000-word dark comedy about survival, solitude, and smashing the undead.

Original short story - When a glitchy smart fridge orders a hit on its owner's ex... the FBI thinks it's a joke-until the hitman shows up.

A satirical comedy told through the diary of a deeply opinionated goat who accidentally becomes the figurehead of a growing waterfowl revolution.

Victor Sterling is the heir to a pharmaceutical empire, a student council president who runs his life with the precision of a military operation. His only escape from his father's crushing expectations is his chaotic apartment shared with two unlikely roommates: Chase Carter, a "playboy" whose charm is a fragile mask for his deep-seated insecurities, and Danny "Dot" Murphy, a spaced-out genius who communicates in "vibes" and fixes Wi-Fi by microwaving the router. Together, this trio navigates the absurdities of elite academia, where a simple canceled school day can spiral into a international incident with Latvian gamers, and a forgotten textbook can trigger a rooftop lockdown doomed by malfunctioning romance drones. Vic's carefully ordered world is perpetually at war with Dot's benevolent chaos and Chase's desperate attempts to stay cool, all while Vic nurses a forbidden crush on his academic rival, Ellie Bluehart-whose family is locked in a bitter corporate feud with his own. As they face pop quiz massacres, the birth of bizarre school cults, and inspections from Vic's intimidating father, the three roommates learn that friendship isn't about avoiding chaos, but learning to sail it. But with Dot's past still a mystery, their fathers' rivalry deepening, and a microwave that's always humming with the next disastrous idea, the only thing they can truly count on is that the chaos has only just begun.

This is a story about my character Steven Crass, who is a regular in my short stories. This story takes place in 1995 where he was in the 8th Grade in middle school, and transitions to high school as a Freshman. And his life in general in 1995.