Billymays Stories

All of your wildest Billy Mays-themed dreams become a reality in this adventure between an unsuspecting businessman and a late Billy Mays.

Hi, Billy Mays here to tell you about another fantastic product!

weird

I'm so sorry.

Your'e the new girl at Oxi Clean Highschool. Like any other school there's that one guy that every girl goes after. When is comes to this school that guy is Billy Mays...

Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy miss Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy Mays Billy miss Bill...

i don't know what the fuck i'm doing.

this is an inside joke that'll never die

It's canon, change my mind.

Famous salesman William "Billy" Darrell Mays Jr. goes on the S.S. Tipton for a vacation, where he is introduced to Marion Moseby, the captains manager and crui...

okay so I gotta apologise for this one, it's a sequal to another fanfic I wrote and didn't post. Also, it got deleted, so I can't post it.

A compendium of thing you can do with bleach, in memory of Billy Mays.

Dab on em.

A fucking piece of disappointment but at least try to read it

A steamy fan-fiction about the man, the myth, the legend, Phil Swift. The ultimate daddy, heartthrob and commercial spokesperson. Really just anyone's dream. And to make...