fuccboishatebananas
each chapter is different adventure. this is my favourite thing to write tbh. all those nasty "smut" fanfictions (and any serious queen fanfictions) plague the fandom, and i wanted to make a special fanfiction about brian and his three-legged hedgehog. just to help save whatever i can of the fandom.
philomena was rescued by by brian and an elite team of hedgehog rescuers, and was found to have an infection in one of her legs! the infection was so bad that hedgehog surgeons had to remove the leg. she's a cute, uwu three-legged hedgehog that is safely in the custody of brian for the time being.
brian's instagram (@brianmayforreal) has all the details of phil, her rescue, and surgery! the operation has been filmed for a channel 5 miniseries called "saving britain's hedgehogs" that will be aired near the end of april 2019.
as we all know, brian is an avid campaigner for the rights of animals, and nothing makes me happier than to present a small collection of mini fanfictions about philomena (referred to as phil sometimes) and brian's adventures!
there are some political jokes in here (like theresa may).