Chrishansen Stories

jack and mark have been together for 4 years. 4 steady years. the relationship was beyond perfect and stable. they loved each other unconditionally. unfortunately, one day mark joined the vietnam war. more so, that's what jack was told. an old friend of jack's comes in the picture as a home wrecker. it takes only one party to turn this relationship completely upside down.

End me

In this hilarious and absurd comedy, the infamous intergalactic hunter known as the Predator sets its sights on a new challenge: Chris Hansen, the fearless host of To Catch a Predator. As Hansen prepares for what he thinks is another routine sting operation, he finds himself face-to-face with a seven-foot alien armed to the teeth. But Hansen's unshakable composure, razor-sharp wit, and mastery of awkward confrontation leave the Predator baffled and scrambling for a way out. What unfolds is a battle of wits, misunderstandings, and hilarity as two predators face off in the most unexpected showdown.

On tonight's episode "To Catch a Predator", we catch the notorious predator, EDP445; Except, on this special episode, thing do NOT go as planned. Chris Hansen finds true love in the arms of EDP. THIS IS SATIRE I GOT THE IDEA FOR THIS AT 4:00AM PLEASE KILL ME

Oh heck does big Hansen like someone else oooooo

Caleb from dead1 inside1 x Chris Hansen lmfao

So good, this is for English. Better get an A

Big Hansen finds a magical elf and befriends it. But perhaps, this friendship will be more.

I hate myself

Picture this, you're fresh out of college and you just got a new job at the best company you could ever work for, Perverted Justice. You love your job and you love catching predators, but most of all you love working with Chris Hansen. He's so tall, so handsome and you can't help but quiver a bit when you hear him say, "Why don't you have a seat?". Will Y/N end up with the pedoslayer himself? Or will she be rejected? Read to find out ;)

Let's be honest here.... this is an April fools Story..... This is the one and Only Smut/Lemon I will ever do... so read it if you wanna see what kind of Smut/Lemon I'd write...

At first, Big Wheel was an ordinary student working at a monastery deep in the jungle, until he discovers an ancient artifact that will change his, as well as the universe's destiny. The birth of a warrior, Brony Chris Hansen, is forged. Will he be able to harness the Yiff Blast and correct the evils he unleashed upon the universe?

I love onision he is a big inspiration to me and i don't care what the haters say HE'S SO HOT AND UR ALL JUST JEALOUS

Caroline ditched her old town full of abusive exes, cruel family, and uncaring ex-friends to start a new life in a new state. She lands a job working at a clothing store in the suburbs of Seattle and crosses path with none other than internet...uh....guy Onision. He's sweet and handsome at their first meeting, he even gives her his number! But she isn't letting herself slip down this hole again, not without a daring, dangerous plan. Something deep inside Caroline drives her into the dark and frightening world of this internet pariah, will she figure her way out the other side?

The Roblox-Schlep Meltdown 🔥 Schlep, a Texas YouTuber (ex-victim of Roblox grooming, now vigilante) exposed predators, got 1M subs, and even helped bust 6 creeps. But Roblox hit him with a ban + cease-and-desist on Aug 9, sparking a firestorm. Fans, YouTubers, and even politicians dragged Roblox, flooding the platform with #FreeSchlep chants. Meanwhile, the legal heat is ON. Louisiana's AG sued Roblox, calling it "the perfect playground for predators," Florida's AG is digging too, and over 400 lawsuits tied to grooming/kidnapping cases are piling up. A California case even saw a 10-year-old abducted through Roblox + Discord. Roblox clapped back, bragging about new "safety features" (selfie age checks, stricter filters, Sentinel AI, 24/7 mods), but no one's buying it. Chris Hansen is cooking a documentary, a 100k-signature petition wants CEO David Baszucki out, Roblox stock dipped 10%+, and countries like Qatar already banned it. Bottom line: Roblox is in its biggest trust crisis ever, with predator cases skyrocketing from 675 in 2019 → 24,000+ in 2024. The drama's only getting messier. 🚨

An inside joke between me and @PreciousBoiEijiro

CHAHEEHAW!1!1 I AM LEBRON JAMES!1! Collaboration with LeBron James. [in all seriousness, this is a crackhead story about LeBron and the chaheehaw written by me and my crackhead cousin, named Chis Hansen the LeBron James of catching predators. I hope you enjoy ig]

A heart clenching story of love, betrayal, friendship and war. As many would say, this is a better love story than Twilight. Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life...