d3-lia
"Maybe, just maybe, I can do both lives too. But that'll mean abandoning the peace and quiet that comes from dwelling in His presence," I mumbled, constantly pacing about the entire room. It was a constant back and forth. One moment I was back there, and then another moment I would find myself asking God for forgiveness of sins that I had vowed never to commit again.
I wondered how come I left from preaching at the altar and winning souls to dressing almost half-naked and looking for the opposite gender to mingle with. It was so bad to the point that these attitudes started becoming oblivious to me and I was slowly being swallowed by the other side. The world.
It didn't take rocket science for a member of our church to understand that I wasn't myself anymore. My speech, my actions, my carelessness, my absence in voluntary work, and in helping my parents with ministerial matters. My spiritual gifts died, I lost my ability to interpret the scriptures and I skipped church services without knowing. Worst of all, the more I thought about those things, the more I did them as my justifications for my actions only pushed me.
"Betty, we've been waiting. Are you coming?" Ava's questioning brought me back to earth, causing my pacing to stop.
Last weekend was amazing, I thought. It felt good to dance with Asher. I closed my eyes, releasing the breath I didn't know I'd been holding.
"Yes," I opened my eyes. "Yes, I am. Let's go."