TheElusiveCly
In the 1990s, little girls at the age of eight to ten tinker with dolls or prance in a game of house. We lived in our magical castles, wishing on a starry night for a prince to appear at our windows. We twirl to musicals, throw desserts in the oven with our mother's, and embellish tables for every meal. We played 'dress up', slipped into gowns and tiaras, smeared lipstick on, and dabbed smelly glitter on our cheeks and temples for fairy teacup parties.
There are very little happy memories of my childhood. I reflect on my younger years as if I'd been imprisoned in a cave, captive to darkness only to feel my way out for school during the day. But that isn't entirely true. To escape the shadows, I played my own game called, 'dress up family'.
My 'dress up family' are wisps of glistening golden light, shining through in my memories, like iridescent reflections of passing water. Swift in their brilliance, before dropping me cold, cold, cold in the shadows.
I have an older sister in my 'dress up family', with two parents: one mom, one dad. My 'dress up' mom served me pasta and apple juice in a wine glass. My 'dress up' father taught me patience, and stoic devotion. My 'dress up' sister made me love her unconditionally.
During the day, free from the arms of the shadows embrace, I bounded in the suburban sunlight with my 'dress up' sister. We journeyed to the private elementary school that my 'dress up' parents enrolled us in, rode horses in the rain and snow, and marveled at the emerging evening sky of glitter above us.
But at the end of the day, at the end of my 'dress up' spell, I wished my 'dress up family' goodnight and reentered the shadows of my cold, cold, cold home again.