Crude Stories

This involves a rubber duck, stolen cover pictures, hats, dish soap, and other crazy shit *I REFUSE TO GET INTO*. That's all you need to know Hanzo and McCree DO NOT belong to me, they belong to Blizzard Entertainment Overwatch belongs to Blizzard Entertainment I do not own the cover to this story All rights go to orignal owners I only own my crazy ideas

Katya is a native of Russia, pursuing an odd career of "trade", as she calls it. She is quite the trouble maker, and ends up in bad spots often. Follow her on her adventures, and prepare yourself.

Two teenage brothers are running for their lives. Yet one of them seems to be abnormally calm. Danny and Leon are attempting to escape the middle-of-nowhere farm from the murderers that slaughtered their family... but that's not exactly the case.

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despite the reason these poems were written, they hopefully show hope in bad situations. i wrote these when i had no one to talk to, you'd think they have romantic reasoning, but if you know me you'll know the real reasons. anyway read them if you want, dont read them if you dont want to. if you read them and enjoy please let me know :)

Comebacks and insults and shit because comebacks and insults and shit are a big fucking funny. WARNING: Crude humor and offensive content. Any pissy comments about this will be ignored, as I am giving you two clear warnings, and this is also supposed to be a joke book. Go figure and learn to take a joke.

Every family is different, but how different is the question. Welcome to the home of the Bergmann's, where planning someone's murder is like taking out the trash, normal and not frowned upon unless it isn't done. Life in this house is as normal as it ever will be. That is until one of Ravens friends was taken by her family's long time enemy. Raven will stop at nothing until she gets her friend back in a hell of an awesome mission. And it's in this mission, that a truce, and maybe even a romance will form. See what Raven does to get her friend back, as well as what else is written with in these pages.

The heart of this story is about friendship. No matter what being there for your friend. Creating your own reality and finding out who you are. Oh and laughing. Here is an exerpt from part V. "I think I am going to be sick," Egbert says. "What is wrong with you?" Roger asks. They are in Roger's room in his mom's trailer. Egbert is sitting on Roger's bed. He throws his arm over his eyes and falls back laying there on Roger's bed moaning. "Stop that! Stop that now! That sounds gay. My mom might think we are doing stuff in here," Roger says. "What kind of stuff?" Egbert asks. "Don't even say another word. I am not even going to think those thoughts for one second," Roger answers. "Well I think I am having a flashback from the spiked Kool-Aid they gave us. You peed in my mouth," Egbert says. Roger turns white. He is taken aback. "I did no such gay thing," Roger says. "Yes, you did. I was sitting up on that billboard for so long and had to sit down. Then I felt something on my back and turned my head. You was peeing on me," Egbert says. "I piss you not," Roger says. "Oh, yes you did and I was thirsty and confused. So, I opened my mouth thinking it was some kind of new fountain, but it wasn't. It was salty you peed in my mouth. Now I have leprosy," Egbert says. "Leprosy?" Roger asks his forehead furrowed. "Yea my skin itches," Egberts says. "You don't have leprosy and you better not tell anyone that gay story or I will suffocate you will that pillow right now," Roger says. "I am serious. I heard you catch leprosy from cannibalism and I drank your pee and now I am a cannibal and my skin itches. Oh, we never should have done drugs!" Egbert says. "We did not do drugs and I did not do anythi...," Roger stops talking as Jerome surprises the boys with a visit to Rogers house.

It was supposed to be a normal holiday with me and my friends trying to drink each other under the table, but no. Somehow I fell through a wormhole into Earth-199999, which is surprising not as nice as I thought it would be. I know this story sounds crazy but hear me out. Maybe it can get me out of this asylum. (Sorry for bad title pun)

In this hilarious adventure Bella must choose between Jacob, Edward or her FATHER!

Do the pesky door-to-door salesmen always end up ruining your precious ritual to summon the dark lord? Are you sick of explaining your black clothes and pentagrams on the walls to unwelcome neighbors? Don't worry, for here are a few tips for handling these situations! [Just for fun, if you're easily offended - gtfo pls :) ]

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