Dark-humor Stories

Lou Yuqing transmigrates into a cultivation world and binds to a gossip system, perfect for someone who just wants to lie flat and watch the drama unfold. There's only one problem. Her thoughts... aren't private. At the disciple acceptance ceremony, the esteemed Immortal Venerable Zixiao is about to take in a final disciple, until Lou Yuqing casually thinks: [That disciple will betray him in the future, steal his Daoist partner, loot his pills, and leave him a laughingstock of the cultivation world.] The Immortal Venerable's expression changes instantly. "We have no master-disciple fate." The chosen disciple: stunned. Lou Yuqing: even more stunned. Things only get worse from there. [Those two girls? Both impostors. The real one was thrown into a snake pit.] Sect Leader: "How dare you!" [That 'son-in-law'? Actually a woman in disguise.] Young Lady: "...A woman?!" [That patient? An undercover traitor who just crippled the Medical Sage and escaped.] Enforcement Hall: "Seize him!" Lou Yuqing just wanted to quietly eat melons and mind her business... But somehow, every thought she has gets broadcast to the entire sect. As secrets unravel, scandals explode, and chaos spreads- The sect prospers. Justice is served. And Lou Yuqing, the unwilling gossip machine... Becomes the darling of the entire cultivation world.

Nani spent two years loving Sky in silence. He was the friend who always stayed, always cared, and always smiled-even when his heart secretly wished for something more. But Sky never saw him that way. When Sky finally fell in love with someone else, Nani accepted it with a smile and buried his feelings where nobody could find them. He thought he had lost his only chance at love. Until Saint entered his life. Saint was not a hero. He was the man people feared-the powerful senior with a dangerous reputation, a cold heart, and a darkness that made others keep their distance. The world called him ruthless, a villain who never hesitated to destroy anyone who stood in his way. But when Saint saw Nani's broken smile, something changed. For the first time, the man who feared nothing wanted to protect something. He didn't wait like Sky did. He didn't overlook Nani's worth. Saint chose him from the beginning-with a devotion so intense it was almost frightening. While Sky realized his feelings too late, Saint was already becoming Nani's safe place. Because sometimes the person everyone calls a villain... Is the only person who knows how to love you right. "He was the villain everyone warned him about... until Nani discovered he was the only person who would burn the world just to keep him warm."

Why is my life like this? I ask myself. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. So, this story is about true events that happen in my life that make me question reality. WARNING: explicit language, dark humor, concerning conversations, and very freaky situations might make sensitive audiences uncomfortable. Read if you dare, but don't say I didn't warn you.

The Deveau triplets step into Azeroth's brewing storm........ Phoenix, armed with dangerous secrets and a growing messiah complex, knowingly drags her sisters to Theramore - one of Azeroth's coming tragedies - as Queen Azshara's arcane core grows stronger inside her and drains her with it........ Cassandra's steel sharpens with every crack in her trust of her sister, her unanswered letters to Flynn carving a deeper wound - leading her life to an irrevocable change........ Belinda, ever the quiet one, begins to awaken a power that could rival even Phoenix's........ And as spies circle from every shadow, Nyxxeldra's forces swell by the day. The war over Pandaria is coming. And so is the Hour of Midnight........ This is Volume Two of a five-volume story-one continuous narrative, divided for readability.

We were just two strangers on the same Instagram page... until one follow changed everything. We didn't know where this journey would lead, but somehow, it led us to each other. Texting and Instagram page based theme story. With Narration Top-Taehyung. Bottom-Jungkook. Taekook... Yoonmin Namjin.

This book is rated NC-17 for very adult subject material and plots A all new fresh start that takes place after the events of season 2 of hazbin hotel in a chaos fueled adventure with comedy and romance and fun

A poetic journey weaving together the narratives of Gideon and Madison. This collection balances hope and pessimism, joy and pain.It represents the raw truth in all its complexity , haunting , inspiring and unforgettable.

Simon life has already been a dumpster fire. Cold, and a boy who is and detached from the world. And who has been walking on his own his whole life. His eyes, though young, hide the weight of countless things that has happened. But, that all ended when decides to send himself, but was found and saved by a unknown organization that found him at his lowest. Now with a new life of being a student at a high school student to being a cold assassin at night. Follow Simon's journey through a world of assassins, and a battle against the thrill of blood being shed, as he fights to find his place in a life that never wanted him..

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✶⊱· ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴏʀᴍᴀɴᴄᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀᴛᴀɪɴ ꜰᴀʟʟꜱ ·⊰✶ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ Jasper Elliot Hawthorne has got a lot going for her. She's a figure skater. An engineer. A collector of questionable ideas. She can probably fix your computer. She can definitely break it. She has periwinkle hair, slightly disturbing sleep habits, and enough technical knowledge to scare your cybersecurity department. And best of all, she's a Hawthorne. Her life is perfect. Except, there's only one thing Jasper does more than annoy her brothers. Only one thing she's better at than programming. Every day, Jasper gets up, puts on her excessively dark makeup, and spends the whole day pretending she's okay. And the worst part? Everyone believes her. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ DISCLAIMERS: If you have not read The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, there are H E A V Y spoilers for that book in this fanfiction. Go read that first! Chapters will come out as they are finished. I'm not creating a schedule because it will burn me out + increase my anxiety, and then it will never be done. This fanfiction has ZERO non-canon ships. If Jasper is paired with anyone, it will be with another OC. Jasper DOES NOT replace ANY existing characters. Instead of completely taking over a role, she adds a new dynamic to the Hawthornes without taking the spotlight off of Avery. Enjoy!!

THE BROTHERS OF MAYHEM A Marvel Fanfiction Wade Wilson and Max Wilson were once just two brothers trying to live a peaceful life. But after a horrifying tragedy destroys their family, everything changes forever. Years later, Wade becomes the unpredictable and chaotic Deadpool, while Max transforms into the ruthless Punisher. Though separated by pain and anger, fate brings them back together when a dangerous conspiracy begins threatening the world itself. As mysterious experiments, deadly organizations, and powerful enemies rise from the shadows, the brothers are forced into a violent journey filled with betrayal, emotional scars, explosive battles, and dark secrets connected to their past. Along the way, they encounter powerful figures like Blade, Colossus, Human Torch, and even Ghost Rider. But the greatest danger may not be the monsters they fight... it may be the darkness growing inside themselves. Packed with brutal action, emotional moments, dark comedy, multiversal chaos, and classic Deadpool madness, The Brothers of Mayhem is a cinematic Marvel-style adventure about revenge, brotherhood, loss, and redemption. Two brothers. One war. Infinite chaos. "Less chit-chat... more boom."

Welcome to BrightFord University-a place where the brightest students come to build their future. For Mara Reyes, receiving an acceptance letter to the prestigious university is a dream come true. But behind the grand halls, academic excellence, and centuries-old traditions lies a secret hidden from the world. Strange disappearances. Whispered warnings. Shadows that move when no one is watching. As Mara uncovers the truth, she discovers that some students never really left BrightFord. And some secrets refuse to stay buried. Welcome to The Society of the Dead.

Saya has a special arrangement with a dragon. She gets tied to rocks. He gets the gold. They scam villages with fake sacrifices, overcooked rituals, and a convincing act of "damsel in distress." She's no maiden - just a fast-talking harlot with sharp instincts, flexible morals, and a talent for moaning on cue. He's no terrifying beast - just a very old, very gay, very arthritic lizard with a hoard, a temper, and joint pain from shapeshifting too much in the bygone ages. It's all going swimmingly until heroes start showing up. Cults get nosy. Other dragons get ideas. And Saya begins to wonder what exactly she's doing in a world where virtue gets sacrificed and livestock counts as treasure. A sword-and-sandals fantasy with scams, sarcasm, sensuality, and sheep.

Love is a battlefield. Literally. To the rest of the world, Alice is the flawless, smiling idol of her high school. To herself, she's a burnt-out teenager desperately wishing for the end of the world just so she can skip class. She gets her wish when the sky tears open, unleashing an alien horde upon the city. Enter the Magical Girls of War-unstoppable warriors wielding cosmic power. Yet, behind the frills, ribbons, and massive weapons lies a darker truth: their magic is fueled by the rawest, most volatile human defects. Chief among them is a terrifyingly hyper-protective pink warrior driven by a dangerous, unhinged obsession to keep Alice safe at all costs... even if Alice has absolutely no idea who they are. Amidst explosions, flying debris, and broken hearts, a war of toxic emotions has begun.

(Contains spoilers for all chapters) [Version A] Kris, for the past 2 days, haven't had their autonomy for quite some time. Their soul had been making choices for them that they'd rather have not been made. However, after the Queen's battle, wake up in the overworld, confused and disorientated, but.... with free will, again? They would be happy, but it's cut short when they realize that what they hoped for came with a strange price. A price that they hope they can get rid of soon before things go awry.

Humans... always trying to speedrun their downfall. They tore the world apart, then acted shocked when there was nothing left. The apocalypse came and went. No glory in it. Just ash, blood, and fools dying confused. Then they rebuilt it. Because they never learn. Now the world stands again, but, you know... it's real dodgy. Yeah. It's dark. Rotten from the inside. Evil... everywhere. Real dick for brains, motherfuckers running around doing heinous things. Real bottom-tier pieces of human shit. Not hidden either. It walks openly, smiling. But even rot knows fear, and there's a dude that scares the absolute fuck out of every last one of those sadistic bastards. Abram Karasu. If that psychopath decides you're on the menu, your fate was signed, sealed, and notarized before you even heard his footsteps. So don't embarrass yourself by begging. Seriously. It doesn't make him merciful... it just pisses him the fuck off. He doesn't give speeches. He gives brutal honesty. And every lesson comes delivered with all the warmth of a goddamn kunai straight to the face. The guilty know him for the way he kills. Slow when it needs to be slow. Painful when pain is deserved. Accurate. Unmoved. Brutal. He tears evil apart piece by piece, making sure nothing crawls back afterward. No loose ends. No second chances. When retribution moves through him, doors don't matter. Walls don't matter. Your just fucked. Still... he isn't devoid of emotion. God, no. Don't get that twisted. Under all that carnage and maniacal euphoria, there's a normal guy who's just trying to live his fucking life. He's a rare kind of person. Hard to find. The innocent see it. A hand offered. Protection given without a word. He's no hero. Heroes care about being seen. Karasu is just a guy with insane power that chose to use it to do remarkable shit. People say his methods are... Unorthodox. Yeah, that's the word...

13x featured wattpad story. Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict. The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men. What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?

Four riders of the emotional rollercoaster. Apoorva is the fire and the fury- with her trauma hidden beneath her sharp tongue and sharper silences. Aarav is the cool touch of rain who melts the hearts with his dry humor and sleepy jokes. Both are fire in their own way. But one becomes the rain to silence the other's storm. She craves order and control. But he is the chaos in human form- free, unbothered, uncontrolled. Then there's Kavya and Saransh. Her strength is quiet; her pain, quieter. He's all jokes and sunshine- except when it comes to her. What happens when they all collide in a chaotic encounter? Will they find friendship, care and love- or will their hearts pull away to protect themselves from the chaos called Love? Join the journey of the four scarred souls who meet through sarcasm and storms, heal through laughter and love and stay with smiles. Book #2 of The Healing Series Tropes: High school Parallel love stories Enemies to lovers Bestfriends to lovers Child abuse Childhood trauma Coming of age Slice of life Romance Humor Dysfunctional families Housemates Healing Sitcom

Pierce only wanted a roll of tape from the corner store, but a troublesome woman and a creature of the night follow him home through the snow. Short story, 4,500 words.

These are small little things I think of that I hope will make you laugh. If you're like me and really want to read something, but have nothing to read this is a book for you.

Annie Sawchuk works for the family business started by her grandmother, Olga. With supernatural abilities, she hunts vampires and werewolves (for a reasonable fee). She's falling in love with Edward Blue, who disposes of the night creatures she kills (a disgusting but essential job), and is yearning to grow beyond her childhood home, where she still lives as a twenty-something. An impeccably dressed and fiendishly handsome vampire, Vesper van Goethe, comes into her life claiming to be her grandmother's old love. Family history, secrets, love, and tragedy come to light and as Easter approaches, Annie learns of a unprecedented gathering of vampires and their monstrous sanguisuga kin. With the help of new friends, her grandmother and her mother, there is a chance to go on the largest hunt ever. It's sure to be a bloodbath. Annie can't wait.