Dark-humour कहानियाँ

Lou Yuqing transmigrates into a cultivation world and binds to a gossip system, perfect for someone who just wants to lie flat and watch the drama unfold. There's only one problem. Her thoughts... aren't private. At the disciple acceptance ceremony, the esteemed Immortal Venerable Zixiao is about to take in a final disciple, until Lou Yuqing casually thinks: [That disciple will betray him in the future, steal his Daoist partner, loot his pills, and leave him a laughingstock of the cultivation world.] The Immortal Venerable's expression changes instantly. "We have no master-disciple fate." The chosen disciple: stunned. Lou Yuqing: even more stunned. Things only get worse from there. [Those two girls? Both impostors. The real one was thrown into a snake pit.] Sect Leader: "How dare you!" [That 'son-in-law'? Actually a woman in disguise.] Young Lady: "...A woman?!" [That patient? An undercover traitor who just crippled the Medical Sage and escaped.] Enforcement Hall: "Seize him!" Lou Yuqing just wanted to quietly eat melons and mind her business... But somehow, every thought she has gets broadcast to the entire sect. As secrets unravel, scandals explode, and chaos spreads- The sect prospers. Justice is served. And Lou Yuqing, the unwilling gossip machine... Becomes the darling of the entire cultivation world.

Warning: I do not own Nintendo, The Legend of Zelda, Hazbin Hotel, or Helluva Boss. All rights belong to their respective owners. Y/N lived an ordinary life. No magic. No destiny. No grand adventure. That all changed the night four assassins broke into his home. Outnumbered and wounded, he fought with everything he had. Blood stained the floor as the battle raged, but even after defeating his attackers, fate showed him no mercy. Trapped within the burning remains of his own home, Y/N watched the flames consume everything he had ever known. Death should have been the end. Instead, it was only the beginning. Awakening in the depths of Hell, Y/N expected to become just another sinner among countless souls. But something far stranger awaited him. Reborn in the body of the legendary Demon King, Ganondorf, he now possesses unimaginable power in a world ruled by demons, overlords, angels, and endless chaos. As ancient darkness stirs within him and Hell itself begins to take notice, Y/N must decide what kind of king he will become. A conqueror. A tyrant. Or something far worse. For in a realm where monsters thrive and sinners fight for survival, the Triforce of Sin has found its bearer. And Hell may never be the same again.

Glimpses of dragons. Glimpses of liches. Glimpses of pudding swallowing the entire world. Welcome to, "Glimpses OF Worlds" From an Undead Hero to a rabbit's prison break. The portal swirled. Come. Peer into the curtains.

Pierce only wanted a roll of tape from the corner store, but a troublesome woman and a creature of the night follow him home through the snow. Short story, 4,500 words.

Elias Mercer arrives at Wendy Gazab's office carrying his own death certificate. According to every government record, every transit authority, and every department that matters, he's been dead for six weeks. The only problem is he's standing in front of her asking for help. As Wendy digs into the impossible case, she discovers that Elias wasn't just murdered. His death was officially approved before it happened. Someone filed the paperwork first, then made reality obey. Every answer leads deeper into a city where forgotten departments still issue orders, dissolved agencies continue operating in secret, and bureaucracy has become powerful enough to rewrite history itself. Witnesses change overnight. Records edit themselves. Buildings that no longer exist keep processing official documents. The closer Wendy gets to the truth, the more reality begins correcting her investigation out of existence. To save a man the world insists is already dead, Wendy must uncover who turned paperwork into a weapon before she becomes the next name quietly removed from the system. A dark mystery blending bureaucratic horror, cosmic conspiracy, razor-sharp satire, and impossible investigations, where the most dangerous words in the world are "Your paperwork has been processed."

"As much as I think that zombie leader is hot, it would be SO NOT hot if it ate me!" The Walking Dead meets Modern Family with a heavy dose of romance-webtoon comedy. Lyra Winters just wanted to finish her breakfast, but a sudden zombie outbreak derailed her morning. Now, she's navigating a ruined world with her terrifyingly protective parents, a shy sledgehammer-wielding powerhouse, and Julian-a dashing stranger who can shoot a shotgun but has absolutely zero defense against Lyra's relentless teasing. Can a sane man survive the zombie horde when his allies are more chaotic than the monsters outside? Welcome to the apocalypse. It's brutal, it's bloody, and absolutely hilarious.

We were just two strangers on the same Instagram page... until one follow changed everything. We didn't know where this journey would lead, but somehow, it led us to each other. Texting and Instagram page based theme story. With Narration Top-Taehyung. Bottom-Jungkook. Taekook... Yoonmin Namjin.

She kills without any trace, without any poison, without a weapon, not leaving a single trace! But I'll be the one who will break her to the core and then will put all the pieces together for worshipping her. I'm the yearner! l love her more than anything, I yearn for her!!... I'm her's to break, to love, But what she did to me the only reason I'm not going to forgive her at any cost!! And for that, I'll take revenge (romantically💀, lovingly💀), not gonna forgive her over my death body! I belong to her, and she, she will always belong to only ME!! she's the one to whom I'll always listen anytime, anywhere!! And I'm proud to be a YEARNER because I YEARN for HERRR!!🛐 She's the only goddess I know, She's the only reason why I believe that I, too, have a heart and EMOTIONS... I LOVE HER more than anything!!!! More than my mother, more than my sister, more than myself!!

Love is a battlefield. Literally. To the rest of the world, Alice is the flawless, smiling idol of her high school. To herself, she's a burnt-out teenager desperately wishing for the end of the world just so she can skip class. She gets her wish when the sky tears open, unleashing an alien horde upon the city. Enter the Magical Girls of War-unstoppable warriors wielding cosmic power. Yet, behind the frills, ribbons, and massive weapons lies a darker truth: their magic is fueled by the rawest, most volatile human defects. Chief among them is a terrifyingly hyper-protective pink warrior driven by a dangerous, unhinged obsession to keep Alice safe at all costs... even if Alice has absolutely no idea who they are. Amidst explosions, flying debris, and broken hearts, a war of toxic emotions has begun.

Nani spent two years loving Sky in silence. He was the friend who always stayed, always cared, and always smiled-even when his heart secretly wished for something more. But Sky never saw him that way. When Sky finally fell in love with someone else, Nani accepted it with a smile and buried his feelings where nobody could find them. He thought he had lost his only chance at love. Until Saint entered his life. Saint was not a hero. He was the man people feared-the powerful senior with a dangerous reputation, a cold heart, and a darkness that made others keep their distance. The world called him ruthless, a villain who never hesitated to destroy anyone who stood in his way. But when Saint saw Nani's broken smile, something changed. For the first time, the man who feared nothing wanted to protect something. He didn't wait like Sky did. He didn't overlook Nani's worth. Saint chose him from the beginning-with a devotion so intense it was almost frightening. While Sky realized his feelings too late, Saint was already becoming Nani's safe place. Because sometimes the person everyone calls a villain... Is the only person who knows how to love you right. "He was the villain everyone warned him about... until Nani discovered he was the only person who would burn the world just to keep him warm."

Our story centers around a man named Robert H. Wakeman, AKA Jaegar, who is an assassin who works for an infamous kingpin known as Denzel "Tiger Shark" Jackson in his hideout. Wakeman does his missions without a problem and sees it like another Tuesday. However, despite his questionable life choices, Robert still has a human conscious inside him. He won't harm innovent civilians, loves animals, hates senseless violence, isn't bigoted to any walk of life, is noble and true to his word, and a gentleman who respects women. So he isn't just your regular old hitman. Just a guy who happens to work for a crimelord and Robert is conflicted on who he really is. Protector of the city? Destroyer of all lives? Somewhere in between? Let's find out! Note: This is my very first Wattpad story so it'll be a bit rough and rusty. If you enjoy I might make a follow to it. Let me know what you think. Enjoy! It's on the PG13 side of things so nothing too crazy or violent is happening.

The Deveau triplets step into Azeroth's brewing storm........ Phoenix, armed with dangerous secrets and a growing messiah complex, knowingly drags her sisters to Theramore - one of Azeroth's coming tragedies - as Queen Azshara's arcane core grows stronger inside her and drains her with it........ Cassandra's steel sharpens with every crack in her trust of her sister, her unanswered letters to Flynn carving a deeper wound - leading her life to an irrevocable change........ Belinda, ever the quiet one, begins to awaken a power that could rival even Phoenix's........ And as spies circle from every shadow, Nyxxeldra's forces swell by the day. The war over Pandaria is coming. And so is the Hour of Midnight........ This is Volume Two of a five-volume story-one continuous narrative, divided for readability.

Kai was raised to have a plan. Instead she got anxiety, a gap year, and a band that can't keep a practice. While her brother studies to be a doctor in London and her friends build real lives, Kai's stuck pouring coffee at Café Joie and wondering if "those who can't do, teach" is going to be her future too. Then she meets Charlie St. John. Former frontman of a world famous band. Current stranger in a parking lot. The first person in years who tells her to keep going. So Kai does the scariest thing she's ever done: she leaves home and follows her music to London. She's done waiting. She's done being second. She just didn't plan on her heart getting in the way.

25-year-old Grace Avery is a stunning woman working as a detective/investigator. Due to her looks, she often gets sexist remarks from her colleagues, seen only as an object of praise and beauty rather than a fellow detective. Annoyed and frustrated, she goes to an old friend for help and assistance, asking for a partner who doesn't care about her looks and has the brains to work with her, to which she learns that there is a person who could help her, the problem lays in the fact that, that person is the very same man who Grace knew and hated in high school, Basil M. House. Will Grace continue to hate his guts? Is Basil the same man whom Grace knew in High school? And will their relationship change? This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Besides being a reimagining, it's also a composite of different mystery stories and movies that I loved, so don't be surprised if some of the cases or puzzles look familiar. Apologies for the grammar mistakes:( Really enjoyed writing this:) This story is also on royal road

Averine Valerie Ashbourne has always been... different. Mula pagkabata hanggang high school, her sharp mind, curiosity, and strange aura made her stand out-and sometimes, made her the perfect target. Expelled from multiple schools, she's learned to fight back, to survive, and to never apologize for who she is. Pero this time, a new chapter begins. Sa Valerian Academy, every student hides a secret-and every ability has a price. Armed with her intelligence, self-defense skills, multilingual charm, and quiet elegance, Averine must learn to navigate friendships, rivalries, and the mysteries buried within the academy's walls. And as she uncovers the truth piece by piece, she starts to realize...the world is far bigger-and far darker-than she ever imagined. Because sometimes, being different isn't a curse... it's a warning.

*ART STYLE IS CURRENTLY BEING REVAMPED. A NEW COVER WILL HOPEFULLY COME SOME TIME THIS YEAR* After centuries of being stuck in a cross and a fucking rock, a group of unsuspecting explorers set Halo and Hellfire free. Turns out, those explorers were just "mortal" objects who were apparently trapped in a forest after an accident. After adjusting themselves to the new setting, Halo and Hellfire come up with one final solution to settle an endless debate of which side is better: Heaven or Hell. Their idea WAS...a competition. At first, it would seem random and basically a waste of time for most of other objects. That is until they realize that the winning team would have the chance to either become angels or demons! Which team will end up on top? Which team will utterly fail miserably? And which team will get more character development than everyone else combined? LET'S FUCKING FIND OUT! DISCLAIMERS!: - Swearing (As if you couldn't tell) - Probably shitty comedy - Dark themes (Not really but maybe) - Potentially suggestive stuff (If you can tell, good for you I guess...) - Most likely a lot of other stuff that wouldn't fit in this list Everything is made by me. The characters, drawings, and the ability to outright ruin the lives of these poor things for entertainment. Yeah, it's all me.

Saya has a special arrangement with a dragon. She gets tied to rocks. He gets the gold. They scam villages with fake sacrifices, overcooked rituals, and a convincing act of "damsel in distress." She's no maiden - just a fast-talking harlot with sharp instincts, flexible morals, and a talent for moaning on cue. He's no terrifying beast - just a very old, very gay, very arthritic lizard with a hoard, a temper, and joint pain from shapeshifting too much in the bygone ages. It's all going swimmingly until heroes start showing up. Cults get nosy. Other dragons get ideas. And Saya begins to wonder what exactly she's doing in a world where virtue gets sacrificed and livestock counts as treasure. A sword-and-sandals fantasy with scams, sarcasm, sensuality, and sheep.

Meet Dawn 😐🖤 🔗😈🧠 and Faye 😋🎀 🌸💥🧠 The human versions of caffeinated raccoons with poor impulse control. Currently monetizing a haunted apartment. Most people run from haunted apartments. Dawn and Faye moved in on purpose. After getting evicted (for reasons that may or may not involve a séance, a fire alarm, and a oujia board), the twins find the perfect place: Room 404, Marlow Apartments. It has a certain reputation... Tenants don't stay. Lights flicker. Walls bleed. Something whispers at exactly 3:17 a.m. The ghosts expect screaming. Panic. Maybe tears. What they get instead is a camera in their face and: "Wait-can you do that again but slower? The lighting was bad." Within days, the haunting is no longer a tragedy. It's content. And when Dawn and Faye launch Ghost Hunters Inc., a paranormal investigation channel that treats actual spirits like mildly inconvenient coworkers, things spiral out of control faster than anyone-living or dead-can handle. Viewer discretion is advised. Not because of the ghosts. But because of the chaotic twins who are determined to turn everything into content and monetization. Could you handle them?

(Contains spoilers for all chapters) [Version A] Kris, for the past 2 days, haven't had their autonomy for quite some time. Their soul had been making choices for them that they'd rather have not been made. However, after the Queen's battle, wake up in the overworld, confused and disorientated, but.... with free will, again? They would be happy, but it's cut short when they realize that what they hoped for came with a strange price. A price that they hope they can get rid of soon before things go awry.

In a world of magic and dragons, humanity's greatest hope is the Summoned Heroes. The Church of the Goddess, the only institution capable of performing the summoning ritual, did what any reasonable institution would do. They made a catalogue. Why rely on fate when you can have a price list? Different tiers. Different classes. Different budgets. From premium, battle-tested champions, to "affordable" options for struggling kingdoms. Because even the poor deserve their own personal hero. Unfortunately, one such "budget-conscious" kingdom got... Theo. A professional séance scammer. A necromancer who couldn't control the dead. A defective product. So, they did the logical thing: They threw him away. What no one knows is, he can summon the dead, even though his system only allows him to summon souls from Earth. From Archimedes to Nikola Tesla, Julius Caesar to George S. Patton, Leonardo da Vinci to... Steve Jobs? Men who shaped civilizations, now answering to a scammer. A kingdom forged from Earth's greatest minds to devour other kingdoms in Civara... and perhaps even the Goddess herself. There is just one problem. Right next door lies the Demon Kingdom, And it has been waiting to devour Civara, long before Theo ever arrived. --- New Chapter: Tue, Thurs, Sat