Dryhumour Stories

When an unserious lawyer meets an unserious teacher, sparks fly as the vicinity is plunged into darkness. It's a simple grocery run. What could go wrong?

"پۆرترێت چیە جیۆنی دراوسێ.."یونیاکە لە وینەکە قۆڵ دەبۆیەوە پرسیاری کر. "وێنەکانی من هەمووی پۆرترێتن واتا ئەو تایلۆیەی کە ڕاستی دەڵین بەڵام قسە ناکەن"جیۆن نزیک بۆیەوە لە پشتی یۆنیاو چرپاندی لە نزیکی گوێچکەی و مچوڕکەی بە لەشی یۆنیا هێنا.

in which elle stayed in the same laboratory school to finish her senior high school years, just minding her own business being a star student, a first aider, and a student leader that she is. and not knowing that she is already entangled with the members of one of the biggest opm bands in the future. just baby joes x baby elle x baby kaye shs au ; the back story [a multo prequel no one asked for but is provided]

Fae Benett is a very gullible and naive new student at Winterfeild University. There she meets an old neighborhood best friend and Violet who's a little too obsessed over her and well ....... Let's just say she puts the Violet in a little voileNt. (Unoriginal I know!)

Seventeen-year-old Jennifer Hawkins has spent a decade dreaming of becoming a detective, just like her late, legendary investigator father, John Hawkins. Yet even dreams come with shadows-her father's mysterious death still haunting her decisions like a ghost. Invited to work as an intern for the esteemed Collective Detective Agency, her first day becomes anything but normal. Thrust into solving a perfect crime alongside an exasperated but brilliant young detective, she must reconcile Jeffrey Hoper's innocence and a body of evidence that ranges from the murder weapon in his hand to the fingerprintless bellows camera and a white-stained teacup left by the criminal. With experimental gadgets and an ensemble of eccentric agents, it's up to the amateur sleuth to uncover the threads if she hopes to save an innocent man.

Reincarnation wasn't in the plan. Neither was the ladder. Bryan didn't die heroically. No truck. No prophecy. No dramatic last stand. Just a ladder... and a very bad fall. Now he's in a world of magic, beastkin, and adventurers who take themselves far too seriously. Apparently, this is where he's meant to start again. There's a system. There's power to gain. And for once, things might actually go his way. Honestly? It's probably just your standard reincarnation power fantasy. Nothing deeper. Nothing complicated. Nothing that could possibly go wrong. A fully planned long-form series. No filler. No meandering arcs.

This is a short story inspired by a Twitter convo about how to preserve dead bodies. (This is more of a humorous take than a practical guide.) Not sure what more needs to be said! 😅

Sixteen-year-old Meg O'Brien has always been different. But growing up as the oldest child of her very practical cattle ranching parents has not always afforded her the opportunity to explore these differences. Between her brother who is constantly giving her parents trouble and his twin who seems to be pretty much perfect, Meg has always felt the need to do as she's told, bottle up her weirdness, and mask her way through her almost constant social confusion. But when Meg's grandmother dies suddenly, throwing her family into a chaos of grief and inheritance confusion, Meg suddenly feels more lost than ever. Before she can even begin to find her footing in faking her way through "normal" grief, she finds herself unexpectedly drawn to Jesse, the wildly attractive new 18-year-old ranch hand. As if navigating through the puzzle of getting him to notice her wasn't hard enough, Meg's dad throws her world into even more confusion by pairing her up with Leo, the spazzy-sweet son of the ranch's foreman, to learn machinery repair. As Meg prepares to cope with a summer of new experiences and upset life routines, her concerned hybrid schoolteacher tries to convince her to seek help from a counselor despite her parents' aversion to therapy. But a taste of true love from an unlikely place just might help Meg finally find the self-acceptance she needs to let go of her impossible quest to conform with the world around her.

Rin without a surname had always felt a hunger inside her. So when she found out only curses could satisfy her hunger, Rin wanted to make sure her next meal would be the biggest curse of them all: The King of Curses, Sukuna.

An aspiring author and his possibly evil doppelganger who refuses to go away. Features a sheep pretending to be an editor, a waitress who hates your guts and a magical bathroom.

1. A short memo i made about 20 mins ago. About a glass drink I left on my window sill. 2. its about seperation

"I ᴍᴇᴀɴ, I'ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀɴɢɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ Lᴏʀᴇʟᴇɪ." Sᴛᴇᴠᴇ sᴀɪᴅ qᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ, ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴏꜰᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴏᴡ. "Bᴜᴛ I ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ.. ʜᴇ's ɴᴏᴛ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ sᴜʙᴛʟᴇ." Jᴜʟɪᴇᴛᴛᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴍᴇᴅ, ɢᴀᴢᴇ ɴᴀʀʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ. "Nᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀᴘᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ." ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ When you move to a small town in the middle of nowhere you dont really expect to be fighting interdimensional monsters after being there for two months, it's just not something that happens. Juliette was weird, too blunt for small-town politeness, not even from Hawkins and somehow managed to get wrapped up in the middle of a fight that sound like something out of one of Eddie's D&D campaigns, but when her younger brother, Dustin, was getting himself into stuff that no eleven year old should be, what was she supposed to do? Sit back? Pretend she didn't notice? Yeah, right. And don't get her started on Steve "The Hair" Harrington. She couldn't help but dislike him. He's loud, popular, self absorbed, probably thinks he's above it all... and honestly? His hair is just too big. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ I dont have an update schedule for this because I write when i want to. Also byler is canon in this <3 Season 1 ; 18/07/25 - ??/??/?? Season 2 ; ??/??/?? - ??/??/?? Season 3 ; ??/??/?? - ??/??/?? Season 4 ; ??/??/?? - ??/??/?? Season 5 ;??/??/?? - ??/??/??

TESTIMONIES "Dude, the world building is top notch right from the start. It's thematically consistent, the names are zingy and attention grabbing. And we have good concise info being fed to our brains. I love your style." - @SpuriousSimulacrum "This is great so far. Having spent years in Eastern Europe, this humour is equal parts nostalgic and poignant. You've taken the best bits of 'Animal Farm' and '1984' and turned it into something unique here. Definitely added to the reading list for this summer. Can't wait to read more. Well done." - @Mystery_Twins_LTD "This is just such an entertaining read. Seriously, it seems like it should be on Adult Swim or something:)" - @stkingnaturally To Moshare I came seeking fortune, but they're making me work til' I'm dead. And here I am, drunk in the side of some sort of concrete monument in this So-Called rabbit's paradise. Let's check the news...Good! Extra slices of bread for everybody! Ummm, Carrots and cabbages have exceeded their quotas, and the Animalist Party held yet another victory parade, as the Carrot Union has won another war on Talabar Front. And oioioi...'m just too scared to give a shit about it, as Commissar Nikita said whoever protests gets detained, sent to the gulag, and quote on quote, "And never is able to see vodka again." Yes, yes! Funny people I hear every day on the wiretap. Stuff ranging from a guy that stole a stapler, and another guy drugging his coffee with laxative, or some kids setting off fireworks near a retirement home filled with veterans and getting shot by the Carrot Guard Bureau, the CGB But hey, I thought I could share my story here! This place might be a shithole, but hey, who knows what the future might bring? Other than atherosclerosis from eating too much-fried cheburek Right, to the story. Credits to @annabellacx for editing

Ember Starden is the 11th successor in the long and prosperous Starden line of entrepreneurs, philanthropists, politicians, world-famous entertainers, and (shh... it's a secret) assassins. She's been through rigorous training, and she's been learning the art of weapons ever since she took her first steps. Gage McWillson was employed by the MI6 Agency shortly after he completed his studies at University of Cambridge. He can speak 7 languages fluently, and carries himself with the consummate ease of a man who thinks he has experienced the worst that life and death have to offer. Things changed for our beloved characters after one fateful night three years ago. Neither had a knowledge of just how closely fate had tied them together, and neither had any plans to do anything about it. So why now? Was it truly fate that tied them together, or was it just a person? Can they see ahead of what they have become and reach into the past to secure the future?

Lee Airi doesn't do fairytales. She steals from corrupt nobles, torches traffic rings (literally), and-- oh yeah-- occasionally glimpsing the future in fire and ash. Yeah, you heard that right. She's a literal assassin who sees visions. And, yes, she's just as tired of the job description as you are. Enter Baek Haon: an exiled prince with golden eyes (because of course he does), and the kind of smug grin that makes you want to throw a knife at his face. Airi tells him she works alone. He hears: "Please follow me everywhere like you have attachment issues, and flirt with me shamelessly." Then there's Ori: A nine-year old duck hybrid who talks too much, knows too much, and eats too much. Oh, and somehow manages to survive the kind of missions that makes you wonder how is he still alive. Airi calls it dumb luck. He calls it being the Universe's favorite. And of course, there's... the other problem. Now, if this were a normal story, we'd tell you what it is-- but where's the fun in that? So what do you get when you throw together an assassin seer, a prince with attachment issues, a duckling kid who won't shut up, and a secret that absolutely is going to hurt later? Answer: Chaos. Also swords. And banter sharp enough to cut steel. And screwed up officials. And an enemies-to-lovers arc slow enough to test your sanctification. This is not your average romance. This is an ADHD disaster of a book that doesn't know if it's fantasy, comedy, or therapy. You have been warned.

Jay's adventures continue in this second volume, narrated through short stories. These will mostly be romantic stories, each featuring a heroine portrayed with a strong personality, sharp humor, and who will hardly open her heart... no matter Jay's undeniable charm*. ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ The themes may vary from story to story, so the tags are numerous and frequently updated. [In the previous volume, there were too many tags, so in this second volume, they will appear gradually as the stories unfold.] And, as before, the plot of each story will be revealed in the Outline chapters. ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ ⑇ More than ever, Jay remains an endless source of inspiration! Let's not wait any longer to dive into the first chapters... ⏤ *Resisting only to fall harder...

Scarlett, an admitted drug addict, is struggling to make ends met, not to mention paying for her growing addiction. Just when she starts to believe that she's never going to be able to beat her addiction, she meets Austin. A guy with a bite- literally. And then, as if Scarlett doesn't have enough to worry about; Austin kidnaps her, like something out of a B-rated action movie. But there's more to Austin, than what meets the eye, and Scarlett's determined to figure it out... After she finds out where her next fix is coming from anyway. Can Austin possibly fix the hole in her heart, the one she tries so desperately to fill with her pills? Can Scarlett accept Austin for who he is, or rather what he is? Or are their secrets so strong, not even true love can keep them together? this is a werewolf story like you've probably never read before, with crazy plot twists, and heart-breakingly dramatic scenes, it'll have you begging (no pun intended) for more. Okay guys this is my first story; sorry if it sucks!

A dream diary from one who would like to interact with the world at a minimal level. Also eyeball deep in all things eastern nerdy, raised in a western society, living in the interim.

In the quirky town of Misty Hollow, life is anything but ordinary. Between magical mishaps, veterinary clinic chaos, and a complicated family, Tabby navigates her chaotic world with wit, sarcasm... and a slowly growing crush on the calm, composed Thomas. Can she survive the absurdity, unravel secrets, and maybe-just maybe-figure out her heart along the way? (Also published on Royal Road & FakieSpaceman.com)