AlchemistssBunny
my mom is probably pissed cause ,it's nearly 1.15 am and my brother just got home . it's a job of a father to pissed but , he ain't the man for the job to discipline his kids so , so my mother does it. She yells at him, she orders around for no reason , boss around, sits and do nothing basically she wears pants in this house.
still when my brother got in house, no word from her mouth. She is still a lady but I don't know for how long. Cause my Father isn't exactly stepping up for the job and ever since grandfather passed away and he retired it's just getting worse.
It was fun to have a Father who isn't strict until my youth proves me unprepared and shows my teacher failed at raising me. Grandfather wasn't exactly a Tough guy and probably didn't raise my father to be one. But father was the eldest brother and stepped up in life to be bread earner. Still he never became the Man , one should be to be Father, Husband and Man no one can disrespect, no one take advantage off. no one can bully.
I guess , since I am aware of it all I am just forwarding all my failures and mistakes in my life to him. Cause he wasn't Good masculine father figure.
I am blaming him for not sending me to animation/VFX school. I am blaming him for wasting my 3 years of life. I am blaming him for all the bullying I had to face in my life. I am blaming him for the messed up family dynamic.
saddest part is I don't know ,how to fix it now.
I don't know how I am gonna change my life around so I am not gonna feel so crappy about my life.