chockatnvanilla
*"People think divorce is dramatic. Mine? It was mostly about a blender."*
Everyone expects celebrity divorces to be filled with heartbreak, betrayal, and emotional speeches.
Mine was filled with arguments over expired yogurt, missing socks, suspiciously disappearing coffee mugs, and a lawyer who looked one headache away from quitting his job.
This is the completely fictional, absolutely ridiculous, and highly exaggerated story of one of the most dysfunctional ex-couples imaginable-told from my point of view.
If you're looking for historical accuracy... you've come to the wrong place.
If you're looking for two adults acting like twelve-year-olds while trying to end a marriage, welcome.
**Disclaimer:** This story is a work of parody and absurd fiction. It is not based on real events or intended to portray real people accurately. Everything in this story is fictional and created solely for entertainment.