SmellyLittleCreature
If Satan can't reach you, he'll send a 5'0 girlfriend with blond hair, glowing red eyes, and a lockjaw grip who skitters on the ceiling at 3 AM.
After meeting the local forest cryptid, and going on a few brunch-and-bury-the-evidence dates, Jack has adapted to his new life as the boyfriend of the forest goddess and the cryptid keeper of Sumwear, Nevada.