Fuckingkillme Stories

I hate this, I hate my life, but I'm sure as fuck doing it.

It's me venting what do you want

Trigger warnings and stuff this is a vent

Fishy story

SOOOOOO SEXYY!!!! moans

new oc book :|

A book of tags

it deserves its own book

Might make sequel. I got an A.

Dunkleman spent his whole life chasing after who he thought was the perfect girl for him, but what occurs when a newer, blonder, taller, Swedish man comes in and takes her heart? This is a Tall Girl AU story This story is made in Satire, constructive criticism is always welcome. I am going to somewhat try but again, ***THIS IS A JOKE FIC*** but please don't hate. Love you~ The fact that people are reading this terrifies me. I'm so sorry for everything you've read if it led you here.

"everything's in order in a black hole." {muses}

So my stupid, newly-minted fandom brain was scrabbling for more content, so I threw both caution and irony into the wind and went on Wattpad and holy. Fucking. Mackerel. So much shipping. All the characters are are ship props. Stop! John is heterosexual, you fiends! Dirk is gay! Stop! STOOOOOOOP! NO I DON'T WANT TO READ FUCKING DAVE X READER. WHY IS DAVEPETASPRITE DATING THEIR PARTIAL SISTER! NOOOOOO! DAVE AND DIRK ARE BROTHERS, YOU FIENDS! AND JAKE AND DIRK IS INSANELY TOXIC AND ONE-SIDED! AND WHERE ARE THE WOMEN? Obviously, the girls are left out of it. Because at least men keep their fetishization of wlw relationships significantly less creative. Some facts about me - I am blond - I am emotionally unavailable However, all these girls are scrabbling for the fictional character Dirk instead of me, even though I can give them the exact same thing. I begin ugly sobbing on the floor because I believe that women are obligated to be in a relationship with me despite my emotional distance and psychological problems. Waaaaaaaa. Guess this counts as a crack fic? I don't fucking know. I DON'T WRITE FANFICTION.

I literally forgot about this shit for about 3 years and now I'm trying to be cringy again and make a new version with the same but bougier characters. I already know this is gonna be worse then the first. Please forgive me for the sins I'm about to commit.

Do I know what im doing,no...no I dont

a fan fic about me and my sister's ravishingly gay teachers practically murdering eachother

I'm gonna kill myself after this book is finally finished. thank goodness noone reads these.

"So your saying... you killed yourself and your not from here...?" "Yes.." "That's impossible..."