Ihavethetongueofasixtyyearoldsailor Stories

So, I think of things, right? I'd like to say I'm a somewhat creative person, and I happen to be an English nerd who thinks of random phrases. I also sort of have friends, and they're witty bastards who say funny stuff. Here is where I'm going to record them and share them, to both keep them in my memory and to hopefully make you laugh a bit. Maybe it'll work. These'll either destroy you with mirth or with depression, it's a hit or miss.