salmon_puffer
Zanka is a city boy who firmly believes that "nature" is something that should stay behind a 4K screen or, at the very least, a well-paved sidewalk. He went into the woods with a sleek windbreaker, moisture-wicking leggings, and a portable espresso maker. He was prepared for everything-except his own bladder. One quest for a "hygienic" place to pee later, and Zanka is hopelessly lost, his GPS is a paperweight, and he's currently trying to "reason" with a bush.
Enter Jabber: a 6'0" forest-dwelling menace with neon-magenta eyes, a loincloth that's seen better decades, and a complete lack of a prefrontal cortex.
To Jabber, Zanka isn't a lost hiker; he's a hilarious, loud, and incredibly shiny new pet. Jabber doesn't do "social cues." He does "stalking Zanka from the trees for six hours to laugh at his clumsy walking," "poking Zanka's ears to see if he squeaks," and "eating poisonous berries just for the tingle." He's a manic, masochistic blur of lean muscle and matted dreadlocks who thinks personal space is a suggestion he's happy to ignore.
Zanka is horrified. He's covered in mud, his "premium" gear is shredded, and he's pretty sure he's being haunted by a guy who looks like a tweaker Tarzan. But as the nights get cold and the bugs get big, the dynamic shifts. Zanka realizes that while Jabber is a chaotic freak who "paints" with things he shouldn't, he's also the only thing keeping the snakes away.
Between Zanka's screaming matches with local insects and Jabber's manic obsession with "grooming" his new favorite human, survival has never been this stressful-or this weirdly domestic. Zanka came looking for the trail; he found a feral boy who treats him like a prize mate and is 100% down to fight a bear for him.
Civilization is overrated anyway.