Offbeat Stories

Tired of fighting a losing battle with his family, Jamie is forced to take on the most ridiculous and challenging fight in his life yet... Being herself.

Highest Ranking: #1 in Humor [FEATURED, SEPT-OCT] An idealistic poet refuses to budge from the last parcel of land a developer needs to acquire in order to build a shopping mall. (Literary satire with pop culture references and environmental themes.) synopsis: The Myth of Wile E. is a riff on the modern obsession with fame and acclaim, as well as a mediation on the artist's place in the modern world, as seen through the eyes of a naive poet who is made simultaneously pathetic and heroic by the pursuit of a singular goal. In this novel, we meet an assortment of eccentric monomaniacs, from mushroom hunters in search of a legendary truffle, to birders pursuing a possibly-extinct bird, to competitive Duck Stamp artists, to "the World's Foremost Living Statue"...and even a very stubborn spider. Meanwhile, our narrator--a terrible, yet persistent, poet--battles a ruthless land developer who's determined to acquire the poet's humble property, in an escalating battle of wills that spirals out of control when the media gets involved. With these quirky events as a backdrop, we gradually learn of the misfortunes that befell each member of the poet's family in their various misguided quests for glory. We also learn why money makes the world go flat, why talent is a white elephant, and what it means for parents to love their children "to pieces." Some of my influences are Richard Brautigan (especially), Christopher Moore, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, and George Saunders, so if you like any of them, I hope you'll enjoy this, too.

Inspired by the writings of Charles Bukowski, The Angel & The Nihilist depicts an impromptu meeting in a Los Angeles bar between a depressed alcoholic and an emotional prostitute.

Sad Poetry

Young Christine is not having fun. Sick and hungry she's more or less complain the first few chapters (okay more than a few) but, all of that doesn't change at all when she meet the freaking Sun and Moon. (if anything it make it worse). As conventionally attractive as they are they aren't her type. Her type being no one save her tv crush Ren. Ren is shy and as she puts it, "heaven sent." With no investment in the actual heaven sent beings that are now an indispensable part of her life will Christine still find a way to be with her celebrity and super star crush ren without the sun and moon destroying her life and house?

A dark and comedic creative nonfiction story of a peculiar New York City job interview.

Starla and Clay's ordinary board game day takes an unexpected turn when a news bulletin of a daring theft captivates them. Fiona Mindell, a mysterious figure, challenges their detective skills. The duo follows diminutive footprints. As tension mounts, Clay suspects Fiona's deceptive facade. Will they catch her deceiving mind or will they continue to be amateur detectives for as long as they live? The fate lies within their own footprints. Ready to be discovered, or better yet washed away in the rain never to be seen.

you visualise it without my explanations. instagram - selcouthgown

As the title implies this is a collection of some of my stories. Some will be little experiments in other genres and styles. Be kind with the criticism.

Much to his regret, Gordon McKenzie eats canned soup for dinner.

Zara hates Shakespeare. So when a mix up lands her in a semester long Shakespeare class, she expects nothing short of torture. But then she's partnered up with the unusual Jonathan Brandt, setting the foundation for a strange form of friendship as they study their first play, Romeo and Juliet. Before long, it becomes clear that there's much more to Jonathan than meets the eye. In fact, the more Zara learns, the more she realizes how similar her own life is to the old play, full of complexities and conflicts. She has the warring families, the important friendships, the responsibility to loved ones. Maybe even the romance. Problem is, there's no denying that the original Romeo and Juliet ended badly for the both of them. And when long standing rivalries begin to emerge--and she and Jonathan are caught in the middle--it starts to look as though this story might be just as messy. ••• A/N: This story does NOT in any way follow the exact plot of Romeo and Juliet. Some characters and events are inspired by the play, but you won't know what's going to happen just because you've read R&J.

It sounds like the start of a bad joke: What do you get when you pair a party-hard thief, a self appointed hero and the world's angriest not-engineer together in a world where people suddenly start developing superpowers? Shenanigans and maybe a little bit of do gooding too. That is if they can figure out how to work together without accidentally (or not so accidentally) killing each other first. Cover Art: @jikookism

How the Easter Bunny got replaced by the Easter Gator.

Whether you've suffered from food poisoning or just had some bad dope, 'shit happens.'

The Old Man The Old Man follows Steve, a deaf father trying-and failing-to survive his unbelievably chaotic family. His blind wife Susan, brain-damaged daughter Abigail, and noseless son Earl turn a simple day at home into a disaster of screaming, smearing, and a mysterious cross-eyed dog that shows up only to eat turds off the floor. As a noodle-armed stranger with a toe growing from his palm joins the madness, Steve realizes his life has spiraled beyond all laws of nature. But just when the chaos peaks, he wakes up-forty years old, calm, living in a quiet apartment with a normal cat. It was all one disgusting, ridiculous nightmare. The Old Man is a fast, bizarre, gross-out comedy with a surreal twist and a surprisingly peaceful ending.

As if the first book hadn't lowered the IQs of every website it's touched, we're back for a second round.

On a simple trip to visit his eccentric scientist cousin, a stoner pizza boy is quickly wrapped up in an experiment, ensuing madness and whimsical nonsense until the data is recorded. Will Wallace ever get something to eat? Find out in Eyeball Sandwich.

A rookie kpop group called 박자 B.E.A.T is sure to debut with great success. At least that's what was in store for them before things turned south... but with all the contracts signed and the company leaving them no choice, the show must go on- will the remaining members stick together through thick and thin or are there too many secrets being kept?