humstadter
I've always liked attention.
There. I said it. We can all relax now.
For most of my life, I thought I was just dramatic, talkative, emotional, occasionally impulsive, and maybe a tiny bit too invested in whether people liked me. You know, normal girl stuff. ✨
Except somewhere between being the little girl who learned how good it felt to make a room laugh and becoming the woman who couldn't understand why being ignored felt like an actual emergency, things got complicated.
Look at Me or Disappear is the story of my life leading up to being diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder, told through childhood memories, family, friendships, relationships, heartbreak, questionable decisions, and enough desperate attempts to feel seen to eventually make me ask:
Okay... why am I like this?
Turns out, there was an answer.
This isn't a story about a diagnosis explaining everything wrong with me. It's about finally having a name for patterns I'd been living inside my entire life, then looking backward and realizing the breadcrumbs weren't exactly breadcrumbs.
They were practically baguettes.
So, welcome to my brain.
It's a little loud in here.