Pleasecritique Stories

The mind is a horrible thing to waste. Now when you have a mind like mine, where monsters come out to play and happy things come in bursts, it helps to write things down. From bad days to good days and everything in between I try to make sense of things to go on in my world. Winner of Best Female Poet in the HamiltonPost Poetry Awards Also 1st Place best poem for "Lest We Forget." in HamiltonPost Critiques are always welcome! :D All of these are original works that have previously been on Deviantart.com/miyu713 Highest ranking #115 on aug23

What happens when Ash finds her friend beaten and bruised in the streets?

I need to practice my writing, so I'm making a book! this will be filled with short stories, whether it be fan stories or original stories. I may even take some requests! Please give me critique on my work so I know what to improve or keep doing, thank you!