Sarcastic Stories

Mairead "Mair" Callahan and Austin Post were supposed to make it. They fell in love in high school-messy, reckless, and all-consuming. She was his steady, his safe place. He was her wild, the dreamer who made her believe in things she never dared to before. They survived distance-Mair leaving for college, Austin moving to LA to chase his music dreams. Through late-night calls, long stretches apart, and the growing weight of his fame, they held on. Until they couldn't. When Mair moved to Utah to be with him, she thought they were finally building their forever. Instead, she found herself isolated, drowning in the shadows of his success. And then she found out he cheated. Heartbroken, she left-fast, without a second thought, absolutely shattered. Looking back would have destroyed her. Then she found out she was pregnant. Now, their lives are forever tied together, but Mair refuses to let Austin too close. She keeps him at arm's length, determined to protect herself from more heartbreak. But Austin has never been one to give up easily, especially not on her. This is a story about love lost and found, about mistakes, forgiveness, and the messy in-between. Because some love stories don't end, they just take the long way home. *MATURE THEMES & TOPICS*

Alexandra London never had a normal childhood, but what can you really expect when both your parents work for MI9? After an incident when she was young, that took both her parents lives she started to live with her Uncle Frank, yet another agent. Like any other teenager she attends high school, at a school called St Hopes, but at the same time she follows her parents footsteps by working for a top secret department in MI9, called MI High. Yet another school year is about to start as well as a new year as a secret agent. But with Blaine and Daisy gone, Alex and Rose have to learn to work with new teammates. [Seasons 3-5]

Amira Kim Zillman has a feelings for Ace Caspian Cruz but Caspian reject her in the whole school.

When Abigail wakes up in the aftermath of her first party with her first hangover, she's hoping she's missing a key feature to go along with it; her virtue. But not only is it still thoroughly intact, Hunter West, her high schools most gorgeous enigma, is the one giving her the reality check. She wants to forget everything about that night, mostly, she wants to forget the proposition that comes out of her mouth the morning after the whole ordeal. For Hunter West to teach her... everything. About being intimate and finding a relationship, something she was pretty sure he'd ironically never had himself. Girl was a language Hunter only learned off a mattress so that he could avoid it. And he did, excellantly, without much remorse. But it's a deal too good for him to pass up, and he clearly had no intentions of doing so, and no intentions of letting her either. Abby was pretty used to getting herself in to uncomfortable situations, so she wasn't totally surprised when it blew up in her face. This had to be, however, the first time she'd ever persuaded someone to do it for her. Life was about to get abundantly more interesting then she could have ever imagined, and it was safe to say, a lot less comfortable...

Hidden in the mountains there is mine with great power. The jewels inside worth millions. A company has spent twenty years doing what needed to mine the dangerous condition. They even kidnapped and enslaved people. Silas has been prisoner for years and has gained the bosses trust. He is the right hand man, but deep down he feels guilty. So he starts sneaking people out, except he finally gotten caught. Surely he will be punished if he stays? If he escapes with the prisoners they will just kidnap more people. Maybe his new friends will be able to help stop that. Or will their effects make things worse? First draft, small romance enemies to lovers. Fantasy, adventure.

Alexandra van der Wansem - fashion icon 👠, certified menace 🚨, and the queen bee 🐝 of Macca-Villacrosse - just got absolutely obliterated by a car 🚗💥 (don't worry, the car's fine 💅). Now she's in a coma 🛌 looking expensive and unconscious 😴✨. But plot twist: her soul floats up to ✨Cloud Drama 9000✨, where she meets an ✨angel✨ with a clipboard and zero chill 😒📋. He pulls up her karma receipts 📈📉 and-yikes-homegirl's been AWFUL 😬 (like... "stole candy from a child and then body-shamed the mom" kind of awful). Her punishment? Reincarnation. As. A. Stray. Chihuahua. 🐶🧼🗑️ RIP the glam life. To return to her human body, Alexandra must complete good deeds ✅🤲 as a yappy, fluffy, attitude-packed rat dog 🐾. But then-plot twist #2-a hot, emotionally available, probably-sad-but-in-a-sexy-way man 🧔🔥 finds her and takes her home 🏡. Now Alexandra, trapped in a tiny dog body 🐕, catches feels 😩💘 and is 100% ready to risk it all to smash 💥. The man, obviously, is CLUELESS 😵‍💫. Will she earn enough karma to wake up? Or will she stay trapped in a dog's body... hopelessly in love and painfully horny? 😭💔🐕

Charlotte is a 19 year old girl. She works at Starbucks to earn money for clothes and food. Her "family" treats her like a servant in her own home. She lives with her mother,step father Paul, and step sister Clair. What will happen when Charlotte's stepfather offers Liam (a billionaire) Clair as his bride, but instead he chooses Charlotte to be his bride. Liam is a 22 year old successful business man. He is the CEO of his father's company. He is cold to everyone but his family. His parents are forcing him to find a bride if he doesn't they will give the company to his sister who only cares about shopping. What will happen when he is offered to marry Clair who is always desperately trying to catch his attention, but notices Charlotte who is sweet,but not afraid to speak her mind. Will these polar opposites find love through an arranged marriage? Cover is made by: reina-draftss

A book of harry one shots and you can request a ship or one shot if you want anyways I dont own Harry Potter or the cover photo

Don't be a dummy. This ain't the usual romcom. There's love but not in the way you'd expect.

This is 100 ways to kill your friend of anyone. ***Me and my friend came up with this in math period, because we were bored and had nothing to do.

𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝓻𝓮? "in her defense, he was the problem..." Clarette Pagen, or shall I say Lady Clare, is the eldest daughter of the Duke and Duchess. Clare is to have an arranged marriage with the monarch, Prince Calim, and expected to move to a new country. How can she be in line for the throne when she can barely get herself out of bed! Clare isn't that type of woman- she'd rather make her life actually useful, read books, than to ever be in a love story- or be controlled by a man. Knowing no one would really care, she finds an escape plan. Clare decides to shove her favorite books in her satchel rather than her status and finally escapes from the world of ballrooms and proper etiquette. On her path to nowhere, Clare gets startled by a man in the woods. Honestly? He was just riding a horse looking for apples. Couldn't've done much harm. Flynn Arakot, a confusing Irish-British man who likes horses, apples, and apparently also insulting her shoes. By the time Flynn shows her his home- things didn't go exactly right, you can say his reaction to her being noble is self explanatory. Forced to live in close proximity, two worlds clash together. One where curtsying was completely necessary, and the other throwing acorns at random people was for fun. As Flynn would say, what on God's green earth is going to happen to them?

Theya has been admitted to the highly exclusive and dangerous fighting clan called the Brethren. But as much as protecting the lands and bartering with aggressive creatures for beer is fun, she has a promise to keep. As always, the price of a vendetta is high, and when Theya is swept away to a nearing kingdom with a secret and an arrogant prince, it's not just her life she has to fight for, but the lives of her Brethren.

Y/n was just a normal girl with a secret. She was actually the amazing superhero aphrodite girl. She ran around punching villains with her goddessness, but then she found a villain she just couldn't kill. lucastellan, also known as jake. she was in love with him but he hated her. this is the story of how they get together (no updates on weekends, short chapters)

Lesson on THEMES. Idk when I wrote this

Purr, King Alpha "I-I don't know you, sir. I should go now." "Oh! you don't, baby. But I know you." To hear him say that for the very first time, everything was blurry. I am confused and very young. In my head, he's just a big guy who stumbles upon our secret meadow. He stayed for awhile, and then he left. I never thought I would see him ever again. I never thought that he really was the Alpha King. He's the big deal here. It never crossed my wildest dream that this beautiful specimen was the soul that Someone above created especially for me. But I swear, he's the same guy I saw decades ago. Am I delusional? Has the stress finally got to me? And most importantly, why is the Alpha King purring? JoyeWolfe © 2016

The Simons, a kind, wonderful, normal family of three, they were happy with their lives but, they felt as if they were missing something. But, what? Well the parents wanted another kid but, because there was such a difficulty giving birth to their first son Cole, that cole's father, Nolan didn't to put his wife, Olivia thu that torment again so they decided to adopt but, instead of a baby they thought a teen would be better. I mean who really wants to stay up half the night and not getting much sleep and changing diapers, and Cole wanted a sibling so he wouldn't be the only teen in the house. But unknown to them that kid would be their nightmare! Ok to be blunt this is my first story so don't criticize harshly but do tell me if I did any grammar mistake so I can fix it but, anyway if you don't like don't read.😄

Your name is Marin, but you prefer that people call you Cassidy. Why? Well, that's just one more thing the people in your life want to ask but never do. You don't really like people, so they tend to stay away from you, but, one day, these two idiots get lost in a forest. Not the most dramatic beginning to any story, I'll admit, but who said beginnings had to be dramatic? Besides, you've had enough drama in your life already. So why not add some more? Join Marin as he deals with the ever-smiling Kodi, nosy Elizabeth, talkative Christian, perceptive Alaster, mysterious Iris, and the creepy Creeps as they suffer through miscommunication, no communication, invisible bad guys, and the end of the world as we know it but not really. Trigger warning: Death. Torture. Death. And more death. (Part of the MC chronicles -each can be read alone and in any order) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This is the first story I've ever written that I actually planned on finishing and I love it even though it's kinda terrible.

Four pristine, white letters, Ripped open and read through, A photo of the princess, And a name of a place riddled through his words, The readers already on their way, Ready to play his game. All hell will be broken loose for the queen.

In which a girl gets dragged from world to world. Watching the best soap operas irl and just thinking "Fk, how cliche" -Images aren't mine. They belong to the rightful owners-