darkparadise_slayy
After surviving the longest, most exhausting workday of her life, Cherry expected nothing more than a quiet evening at home.
Instead, she opened the door to a nightmare:
Ed - her husband - standing half-naked on the coffee table, aggressively twerking while a circle of glittery, shirtless men slapped his ass with his "meat" in a perfect "Shape of You" rhythm.
And through it all, Ed was scream-singing a cursed, off-key version of Shape of You, as if he was auditioning for Satan's personal boyband.
Cherry dropped her bag, her jaw, and her will to live.
Because when your husband cries, "I'M A SEXY TWINK, BITCH!!" while getting booty-drummed by a horde of secret boyfriends...
You realize some marriages simply aren't meant to survive.
Welcome to the glittery hellscape you never knew you needed.