Corneliastreetcouch
Draco Malfoy has finally cleaned up his reputation, restored the Malfoy name, and mastered the art of being boringly respectable. Enter Ophelia Thorne - America's most chaotic pop star, professional flirt, and part-time menace - now the newest "diplomatic guest" under his supervision. She arrives in faux fur, sings about him in songs titled Espresso and Bed Chem, and manages to turn all of wizarding Britain into a hormonal PR nightmare.
Now Draco's getting Howlers from angry mums, espresso sales are up 300%, and Hermione's banning fan mail from the Ministry Floo. Meanwhile, Ophelia's just living her best life - and Draco's dignity is hanging by a thread (probably made of pink glitter).
A slow-burn comedy of one very proper wizard trying - and failing - to survive one very busy woman.