penofmpendulo
Chapter 1: Same Class, Same Silence
By Mpendulo Mvelo Madumo
I saw Nompilo every day after that. Same classroom. Same timetable. Same silence.
Being in the same class felt like winning and losing at the same time.
From the outside, it didn't look like much.
A student sat quietly at a desk, books neatly stacked, eyes facing forward. No one would have guessed that every time she walked in, a chest tightened. No one would have noticed how focus disappeared the moment she laughed.
She sat a few rows away. Close enough.
I noticed everything about her. The way she tapped her pen when she was bored. The way she leaned forward when something caught her interest. The way she said my name sometimes, casually, like it didn't mean anything.
But it meant everything.
To everyone else, they were just classmates. Two students sharing space, exchanging small words, polite smiles.
But beneath the calm surface, there was noise.
We talked sometimes. About school. About homework. About nothing important. I kept my sentences short. Safe. Careful.
Every day, the thought appeared: Today is the day. And every day, fear answered first.
What if silence was safer? What if speaking ruined everything? What if keeping the feeling hidden was better than losing it completely?
So I stayed quiet.
From the outside, it looked like patience. Inside, it was hesitation dressed as control.
Sometimes she caught me looking at her. I looked away too fast. Sometimes she smiled, and for a moment, courage flickered.
Then the moment passed.
Silence became a habit. Fear became a companion.
And while I waited for the right time, time kept moving - quietly, without asking permission.