Snark Stories

Fairy Tale Survival Rule #32: If you find yourself at the mercy of a wicked witch, sing a romantic ballad and wait for your Prince Charming to save the day. Yeah, no thanks. Dorthea is completely princed out. Sure being the crown princess of Emerald has its perks―like Glenda Original ball gowns and Hans Christian Louboutin heels. But a forced marriage to the not-so-charming prince Kato is so not what Dorthea had in mind for her enchanted future. Talk about unhappily ever after. Trying to fix her prince problem by wishing on a (cursed) star royally backfires, leaving the kingdom in chaos and her parents stuck in some place called "Kansas." Now it's up to Dorthea and her pixed off prince to find the mysterious Wizard of Oz and undo the curse...before it releases the wickedest witch of all and spells The End for the world of Story. ***To ramp up for the June 2nd 2015 launch of my debut novel, Spelled, I will be releasing 2 chapters each week for five weeks. You can buy the completed book at Barnes and Noble, Amazon or anywhere awesome books are sold. Be sure to check out the external links to my website for fake fairy-tale news fun to go along with the story. After that I'm going to add deleted and alternate POV scenes. Hope you enjoy and thank you for taking a look!!! If you like it or have questions, let me know and don't forget to vote and share.***

The gang being snarky. that's it. occasional pictures of snarky texts' and funny sayings.

"How did this make it into the hot list, again?" Where I snark on Wattpad's hotlist books Cover made by @Amanda-Mae

Some things are worth waiting for… Traveling thousands of miles from home to enter college is the only way nineteen-year-old Avery Morgansten can escape what happened at the Halloween party five years ago—an event that forever changed her life. All she needs to do is make it to her classes on time, make sure the bracelet on her left wrist stays in place, not draw any attention to herself, and maybe—please God—make a few friends, because surely that would be a nice change of pace. The one thing she didn’t need and never planned on was capturing the attention of the one guy who could shatter the precarious future she’s building for herself. Some things are worth experiencing… Cameron Hamilton is six feet and three inches of swoon-worthy hotness, complete with a pair of striking blue eyes and a remarkable ability to make her want things she believed were irrevocably stolen from her. She knows she needs to stay away from him, but Cam is freaking everywhere, with his charm, his witty banter, and that damn dimple that’s just so… so lickable. Getting involved with him is dangerous, but when ignoring the simmering tension that sparks whenever they are around each other becomes impossible, he brings out a side of her she never knew existed. Some things should never be kept quiet… But when Avery starts receiving threatening emails and phone calls forcing her to face a past she wants silenced, she’s has no other choice but to acknowledge that someone is refusing to allow her to let go of that night when everything changed. When the devastating truth comes out, will she resurface this time with one less scar? And can Cam be there to help her or will he be dragged down with her? And some things are worth fighting for…

Vitalen is cursed. The warrior mage wears a necklace that forces him into unending life. All Vitalen wants to to be free to live his life and eventually die, so he must collected the three fabled Keys of Djinn. But he can't do it alone. He'll need the help of snarky fellow immortal, Vessa. Can these two find their way to the keys and keep themselves from being dismembered in the process? ~~~~~ This is a (late) birthday present for my friend Mike (aka Vitalen). His very own fanfiction! (Sorry, not a smutty fic LOL) I hope he enjoys it, as well as anyone else who wants to give it a read! I even had a real live English teacher help me with the critiques! This story was extremely fun to write and there is a lot of silliness and fun, as well as some violence going on. Who could ask for more?!

She wasn't supposed to be a threat. Until she looked a soldier in the eyes and smirked. A.E.G.I.S. was built to handle the impossible-superpowered operatives, covert missions, end-of-the-world-level threats. What they weren't prepared for was her. Katerina Hawthorn. Quiet. Untrained. And supposedly harmless. Brought in under the guise of recruitment, Kate is hiding a secret that could get her killed-or worse. The men hunting her aren't interested in mercy. They want her power, and they'll tear through the world to get it. Enter Kai Mercer. Battle-hardened. All scars and silence and a bionic arm that's saved more lives than it's broken bones (but just barely). He doesn't want a rookie on his team. Especially not one who talks back, fights dirty, and makes his pulse skip for all the wrong reasons. The team doesn't know what Kate really is. She doesn't know who she can trust. And Kai? He just wants to survive her. But when her secrets start to unravel-and the body count rises-A.E.G.I.S. will have to decide if she's a weapon worth wielding... ...or the spark that burns them all down.

Tomorrow liked solitude. Then a naked lunatic arrived and demanded pants. Things went downhill from there.

My Name is Tiffany De Angellis. I am Victoria De Angellis. We are sisters, Twins to be exact. (I was born 1.349 seconds before Tiffany.) On or Sweet Sixteen, our parents injected us with something that would prevent us from any sickness or harm. But we discovered, it did gave us more. It did something impossible. To the outside world, My sister teaches high advanced highschool classes, and sells art to 'her people'.Yet, for us, people out there, want the chemical formula that Mom and Dad made. Right now, we don't know if they'd perfected the 'ooze' after mom destroyed it. But with our powers we plan to take down the bad guys, and some, just happen to be like us. We strive to hunt down the people who are abducting innocent people for experiments. We are: Viper, and The Cobalt Flame. And we're ordinary people. EXtraordinary people. Extra-ordinary people who put our neck on the line for people who probably don't even deserve it, But they don't deserve to die. (Credit to Co-Author @jessicaflashpotter)

Months after their last encounter, Haytham and Connor Kenway meet up again to discuss a peace treaty between the Assassins and Templars. The men had everything set in their minds: fight the new menace that had sprung up out of nowhere, bring peace and prosperity to the colonies, merge the Templars and Assassins into one powerful group (Connor's idea). Time travel was not one of them, and neither was raising a baby. Disclaimer: I do not own Assassin's Creed. I only own the plot and my characters.

16 year old Mercedes was always abused and heard it happen to her 8 year old brother. one day her brother died, and she blamed herself, and passed out in a class at school. she meets a boy named Dominic who took her home to help her. her face and scars were seen, but her voice never heard, only her brother had heard that voice. Dominic is a boy who was always beat up at school, and he has a best friend named Claus who defends him. Dominic graffiti's and writes music. a emo boy with a big heart, whose voice was heard, but his eyes go unseen. read more to know more!

A human, a Demon, and an Angel make for an interesting crowd. Especially when one is trying to save her brother, the other two won't quit fighting, and none of them fall for who they thought they would.

Trying to cope with the loss of the only person close to his family, his godfather, and the guilt that came along was hard enough. With a few ugly truths disclosed at the end of the year and the inevitability of what must be done, the last thing Harry Potter needed now was his Potions Master, who clearly hates his guts, showing up on his doorsteps and asking for favours. He has to befriend enemies, lie to friends, uncover truths and be trained to kill. And just when he thought, his life couldn't possibly get any more complicated, well, of course it did.

This is my idea of the lyrics from two steven universe songs. I don't own any of the lyrics to the songs. They belong to the steven universe makers. i decided to write a story based off of lyrics of these two songs. It was just the first thing I thought about when I was listening through the songs. Hope you enjoy.

Bobby Tremain's life used to seem charmed, but since his dad's crippling accident, he has an avalanche of problems. He's the first in his family to have a shot at college, also the first to head north of Louisiana. An early snow calls his Bear to hibernate a week before finals, but he needs to pass or he flunks out of Providence Paranormal College. Lynn Frampton's loneliness is almost more than she can take. She went to college on the other side of the country to get away from the persistent curse of unpopularity in a small town. Once at college, Lynn's prickly personality has pushed everyone away yet again. At least, she's at the top of her class. Bobby needs Lynn's help to stay awake and pass his exam, and she discovers she needs companionship more than she'd ever imagined. Lynn's all set to transfer to a school back home, but Bobby thinks she's his mate. Can he keep awake long enough to pass, and more importantly, convince his love to stay? Let this introductory novella transport you to Providence Paranormal College. Extrahumans of all types abound on this urban campus on the East Side of Providence, Rhode Island. This Ivy-League college recently opened its doors to anyone with enough talent. The Admissions Department at PPC enrolls humans with extraordinary grades, the magically and psychically inclined, vampires, werewolves, changelings, and even magic shifters like dragons and Kelpies. Come take a tour! If you like YA and NA Paranormal Romance or Urban Fantasy with strong romantic subplots, you'll feel right at home here.

Hi, I'm Sienna Moore, I'm eighteen and until three moths ago I was living my best life in New York City. It was pretty goddam brilliant. I had a bright red, little Jaguar, unlimited funds, an amazing best friend, a modelling contract and access to any club in New York. Best of all? Zero parental supervision. Then things got a little out of control (okay, a lot out of control) and my parents made a sudden, startling re-appearance to ship me off to Nowhere, Idaho to live with my aunt and her goody-two-shoes daughter. Kill me! Now I'm sitting in a police station explaining why I set a car on fire. It's one hell of a story.

Benny Wilder never knew what death would bring him, but he sure as Hell didn't expect zombification. Well, to be fair, only part of him became a zombie. The physical part, that is. The rest of his being (the soul, the mind, whatever you want to call it) separated from his body and became some sort of spirit. Benny spends his days following around his undead counterpart, which he lovingly refers to as ZomBenny, but what happens when he stumbles upon a girl that can see him? A girl that can hear him? A girl that can free him? Join Benny, Bea, and, well, ZomBenny, on this wild adventure of life, death, and extreme sarcasm. ~How to Hold Your Head and Your Heart~ *Leisurely Updates* *Started on 9/8/17*

Lindsey Thompson's friends are being killed off by someone imitating the movie Scream. Now they're left figuring out whether their lives follow the rules of good old fashioned slashers, the new millennium horror, or something else entirely. Who's the murderer? Will Lindsey make it to the sequel?

I Love You, Idiot! A 13+ Enemies-to-Lovers Romance Story Description Willow Creek High's most chaotic junior year starts with a literal splash. Aria Vale is the girl who has it all together-on paper. Straight-A student, debate team captain, and secretly terrified of messing up. One coffee-stained sneaker and a hallway collision later, her perfect record is threatened by the one person who refuses to follow any rules: Jaxon Kane, the school's infamous rebel with a smirk sharp enough to cut glass and a reputation for disappearing right when teachers need him. Forced together as lab partners, they make a reckless bet: highest project grade wins total control over the loser. What starts as sabotage, snark, and stolen glances spirals into late-night study sessions, anonymous notes slipped into lockers, and a growing suspicion that maybe-just maybe-the person who drives you insane is the only one who truly sees you. But when Jaxon's guarded past crashes into Aria's picture-perfect future, the stakes skyrocket. Because some reactions can't be reversed. And some words-like "I love you, idiot"-change everything. Character Introductions Aria Vale (16, Junior) Looks: Honey-brown curls that refuse to stay tamed, hazel eyes that narrow when she's plotting, and a permanent ink smudge on her left hand from annotating books. Vibes: Over-preparer. Color-codes her highlighters. Has a secret playlist titled "Songs to Cry to in the Shower." Flaw: Terrified of failing-so she pushes everyone away before they can see her crack. Secret: Writes poetry in the margins of her chemistry notes. No one knows. Jaxon "Jax" Kane (17, Junior) Looks: Messy black hair, storm-gray eyes, and a faded scar above his eyebrow from a skateboard accident he'll never talk about. Always in beat-up hoodies and scuffed Vans. Vibes: Walks like he owns the hallway but sits alone at lunch. Sketches in the back of his notebook-never shows anyone.

When Thorax brings his brother, Pharynx, on a trip to Ponyville, he runs into Ember. While spending time with her, Pharynx nearly goes insane from their seemingly lovey-dovey conversations. Embrax / Unexpected Leaders ... plus, a very annoyed older brother.