Stale Stories

Old projects and shit, maybe some from 3rd grade if you're lucky

This is my multi-purpose, hardly used, overall pieces of shit, yet I wish to produce something so abominable that it becomes some sort of cult classic. However, my brain is no longer 12. (= ^・_・^)/☆ (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Σ（・□・；） ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeetus Mcgeetus' adventure in a dank land is quite the dank story

Here are some punny jokes for you guys :) Disclaimer: I did not make all of these.

He caught my wrist and pulled me down from the boat. "Chri..sty.... it hurts!!" I said breaking in middle. My sound and whole body was shaking because of fear. "Ooh really?" He asked in a mocking voice. His eyes were evil and selfish now. I have never seen him like this. "It was great to dance with a stranger right?" He asked tightening his grip. "I... I.. didnt!" He didnt let me complete. "ENOUGH!!" He shouted at me. "You are mine! And today I'll make sure of that!" His sound was evil. "Tonight you'll enjoy it!" He whispered in a lustfull tone. "Leave me!" I yelled and began to pull myself away from him. "Ooh... it should have been that stranger.. right?!" He asked in an annoyed voice. I was not able to control my anger. In an instinct I slapped him across his face. Oh no! This was not to be! I AM DEAD!! He raised his head and looked at me. His eyes blood red and his cheeks had finger prints. "WARNING : +13 ONLY"

Inspired by and based on the world of Animal Crossing. This is the story of K.K. Slider, and how he came to be the lovable, guitar-playing dog we all know and love today. This was part of my "One Story a Day" (OSAD) Challenge I started last year. It's a work I'm actually quite proud of, so I hope you enjoy it~ Rated T Wordcount: 37k~

Remember the iconic Jeggy fanfic by @emmaleejeans ? well it's been a year since she updated a post so I thought maybe I could fill in her storyline but with my style of writing! All credits go to her and I still don't how to draw so I don't own any art still, now for the trailer thingy Peggy Schuyler was looking for a job for so long, she wanted to work as a veterian but noone clinic would hire a 16 year old despite the smarts of this girl, she was getting desperate so she went to he childhood bestfriend's bakery, now when I say childhood I mean they were in the past and now she hated him for some reason, Peggy had no absolute idea on how to bake so she just watched John Laurens from afar, sooner or later John, her childhood bestie was curious on why she started to hate him after his trip to France, he does anything to make her tell the truth, even cover up her mistakes for her, now these mistakes weren't big... like burning down a kitchen or forgetting to pay her bills, yeah definitely not big!

The Nightmare SMP is an SMP that my friends and I have created. This book will be a collection of stories that come to my mind. These stories will mostly be focused on my character, Punk, unless the others would like me to write in the perspective of their character. -This will include AU's, jokes, and things that will be considered canon. -These are completely platonic and anything that relatively suggests anything is joking and in no way meant to be taken seriously. -TW's will be included for anything potentially triggering (ie. blood, death, etc) I hope you all enjoy! -Punk

From a lowly-acclaimed author you've never heard of comes a pretty unoriginal story about a girl who just wants everyone to be happy. Maggie discovers that she is a character in a book, seemingly helpless but to obey the pen of its author. Key word: seemingly... She was supposed to die three chapters ago.

Alix Borromeo is on the trip of a lifetime with her best friends, celebrating the end of her A-Levels with a journey around the world. She is living her best life, ticking places she's always wanted to go to off her bucket list and just having fun. Then in Los Angeles she runs into a group of professional snowboarders at the airport and her summer is transformed into a whirlwind of fun, friends, sand, snow and guys....very cute guys. A snowboarding fan fiction.

Ever wondered what it would be like to be a milk carton? Your breakfast? A bowl? Probably not... Don't worry, that's what this book is for! Prepare to hear the enlightening tale that will change your life forever. ****** Authors note: I understand writing in the POV of objects is different to an ordinary story however this is just a short story made for the amusement of the reader! Enjoy!

A limerick about an old man's tragic end.

Natasha was tired. Tired of a lot of things. Things were going to change. They had to. The determined set of her jaw confirmed it. She couldn't possibly have known there would be a whole new direction her life would go in. A direction that would leave her every day, well-worn path to "in the box thinking" unrecognizably out of sight. She took bereavement leave from B.F.D. Spending her days going to Earl Stroh's gun shop over on Archway Drive where she bought the Glock. Three, four times a week she made the ten minute, five mile subway ride. Fired off her anger and frustrations in the basement range under the store. Old plaid shirt, holey-kneed blue jeans and ratty sneakers. She'd run five or six ten round clips through the paper target fifteen yards away. She got better. She got good. Good enough after a few months to keep the pattern in a five inch circle center mass. It was her way of dealing with it. Getting out the frustration she felt inside at being cheated into living a life alone.

Kiera , a young adult that had a passion once .. until things were taken away from her. That is when she meet les twins, a french dance duo that knocks her off her feet see where the fun goes from here . Not good with descriptions will update and change later . Not fluff or any genre like that ...tried to make things seem as real as possible . This story was written back in 2013 the first nine chapters are from 2013 the rest is fresh and new lol .

Holly is your average 20 year old snowboarder trying to make it big. Coming from snowboard royalty, Holly has big expectations but somehow she finds herself being distracted from what she wants most in life.

A collection of stories with a meme twist