newtlover4ever
To Skylar - or maybe just to myself,
There's this feeling I get around you. Like something I'm supposed to remember but can't. Ever since you showed up in the Box, there's been this ache in my chest-like a memory trying to break through whatever WICKED took from us. I don't have the details. Just the pull. And every time you look at me, it gets stronger.
I remember when you got hurt. I stayed by your side all night because I was scared you'd disappear if I looked away. And later, when I was the one hurt, you did the same for me-brushing my hair back, telling me I'd be fine until I believed it.
When Ben was banished, I tried to calm you, but you shut everyone out. I was worried you wouldn't come back from that. And when you did, you blamed yourself for everything-but it was never your fault. Not then, not ever.
I remember holding you back when Thomas ran into the Maze. You were shaking-angry, terrified-and I held you tighter than I should have. And that day we searched for the missing animals... I tucked a small white flower behind your ear. The way you smiled made everything feel lighter, like the Maze wasn't winning for once.
Even in the Scorch, you didn't change. Still brave. Still running toward danger to help others. And every time you looked at me like you were searching for something, I felt like I was failing you without knowing why.
Then the memories came back. Skylar. Subject A3. The girl who tried to protect everyone. The girl who held my hand when we missed our siblings, who promised we'd survive even when we knew we might not.
I'm sorry-for what the Flare turned me into. For the things I said and did. You still stayed. Even when I wasn't myself. Even when I didn't deserve it.
And in the end... I knew I'd break your heart.
I'm sorry.
- Newt
To anyone who reads this: hold on to the people you care about. They matter more than you think.