Theonion Stories

America! What a beautiful country! Dickless is here to report our most relevant news. He doesn't hate his job and he CERTAINLY doesn't hate writing. He's very pleased to be working for a no name organization reporting one some of the most boring (albeit necessary) bits of news our wonderfully derelict country has to offer.

because i feel bored, that's why. this is a series of satirically written 'essays' written in an academic style. if you couldn't figure out that my 'essays' are full of shit, then holy fuck read the room Karen

Renowned throughout Odd Squad, Agent Onion is a journalist best known for their spoof webizine, named after Agent Onion themself. And for the first time in history, their funniest and most popular headlines are being shared with all of you!