Tongue-in-cheek Stories

Meet Marx. Meet Kez. Marx is a small, angry man with a time machine and a chip on his shoulder. Kez is a homicidal little girl with a price on her head and a penchant for kicking people where it hurts the most. When Marx crash-lands on Second World, he has no idea that he has plunged headfirst into the middle of an assassination plot- or a one day war that's about to make his day a very bad one. From their first meeting at gun point, to their sometimes turbulent and always sarcastic relationship, Kez and Marx leave a trail of destruction and death behind them. Kez holds the secret to unfettered travel in time and space, and it's not just the Time Corp who want her. Join Kez and Marx's adventures in time and space as they try to stay one step ahead of doom, certain death, and the Time Corp.

What of you belong to a country that aims to become the rape capital of the world. All hopes of change are dashed against the rocks as ars*****s make irate, stupid and careless remarks promoting rapes and defending manliness. I would call all of them Dhritarashtras in honour of the stupid old fool from the Mahabharata. Well, this is how I take my baby steps to create change the way I know best.

Do you dream of androids who, in turn, dream of electric sheep? Do you want to stand astride the world like a colossus IN a colossus? Do you want to make the laws of physics roll over and play dead? Professor Vigo Depravis shows you how to begin your very own genius-fueled reign of terror!

A cautionary tale of what happens when a meaningless yet cruel pastime goes too far...

An Amazon Breakthrough Novel Quarterfinalist, Death by Haggis is a tongue in cheek detective novel inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the "opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." Until the day Jane Hamchester walked into his squalid office, the highlight of Detective Sam Barlow's life had been a particularly good tuna sandwich. Now he is charged with trying to save the life of the only woman he ever, uhm, thought was really swell. His only problem is that there are no clues, other than the nonsensical utterances of a dying man. Barlow's desperate search takes him first to Scotland and then to the Aegean. But time is running out. Not only for Jane but for the human race. Barlow's only possible hope lies at the bottom of an ancient cavern, a remnant from the time when a different kind of human populated the Earth, a kind of human that could have saved mankind. Alas, they are long extinct. Or are they? ****************************************** Death By Haggis: What people are saying ... "What are you staring at?" Chelsea Pennybaker "Jay Cutts does for fiction what Dave Barry does for gourmet cooking." St. Louis Blues Dispatch "What more compelling metaphor for life itself could there be than a mysterious white leviathan and the mindless drive of a nearly ruined sea captain to track it down and destroy it? Oh, wait. You mean this book?" Denver Postit "This is one of those books that you know immediately could be an instant classic if millions of people all bought it and liked it and it got a lot of publicity and then they made a movie out of it." George W. Bush "The humor of Edgar Alan Poe, the refined taste of William S. Bourroughs, the punctuation of e.e. cummings. This work contains it all, but I forget on which page." The Milwaukee Braves "If Jay Cutts is not yet [in] an institution, he should be, and soon." Better Homes and Gargoyles "Cut it out, will ya." Chelsea Pennybaker

A collection of poems about writing and poetry. 1. On Form 2. Title Match 3. Subjects 4. Brief 5. Speech 6. Executive Decisions 7. On Complexity 8. Predators 9. Write From... 10. Self Portrait 11. Pour Advice 12. Nocturne 13. First Blood 14. Last Rites You can also listen to readings of this collection at http://soundcloud.com/jonnycastoardern/sets/on-form/ or by clicking the 'External Link' on any of the individual poems.

The book is a compilation of articles written by the author where she takes a view on various topics ranging from the sacred to the profane. She has touched upon happenings of everyday life, such as people sitting in coffee shops, the social dynamics in a fun-fair, how childbirth ought to be painless for every woman, the domestic help in her family, as well as topics like fashion, make-up and glossy magazines, going on to delve into deeper aspects of religion such as whether God is for sale, and outlining her own personal beliefs and how they came into being. The book also has the author’s views on music, poetry and certain types of fiction. She has her own unique style of writing, ranging from tongue-in-cheek, to serious, to downright flippant and funny. She has something to say about a whole lot of things in life, and she says it forcefully, rather astutely, tickling the funny bone as she goes along – certainly an insightful and entertaining read!

Get Ready for Swami and Jigneshbhai! The one thing that Jigneshbhai likes is a quite life. But his restless friend doesn't let him have much of it. Especially when it comes to his health. "My cholesterol has gone up. My triglycerides are also on the higher side, The sugar level is also not very comfortable. I am on the edge of being prediabetic," Swami announced, and that was just the start. When that innocent health check-up report was seen by Raji Periamma, it leads to Swami and Jigneshbhai meeting a specialist. And it turns out to be only the first step in a series of unexpected episodes. It starts with an accidental meet with astrologers, leads them to a funny drunkard and results in some unnecessary action at the cinema hall. It starts a set of funny coincidences and uneasy trickery leading up to a temple visit that shakes Swami's faith. As Jigneshbhai and Swami manoeuvre this motley group of the bad and the silly, it takes a speech and a doctor's appointment for the confusion to unwind and let the multiple cats out of the multiple bags! The author builds an intriguing tale of good vs evil through a set of motley silly characters and everyday situations that accompany Swami's book smartness and Jigneshbhai's street smartness. Often delving into the difference between knowledge and wisdom with philosophical musings, the author peppers them with tongue-in-cheek humour. The characters of the wealthy old man and a spiritual talking dog Deja add a taste of comic wisdom. Ranjit Kulkarni takes us on a ride with Jigneshbhai and Swami in his debut novel - a ride that is a mix of humour and wisdom, and as the title aptly suggests a mix of the good, the bad and the silly.

I asked an AI to write me a short story critiquing diet culture in the US. This was the result.