Youngadulthumor Stories

Harry Potter thought things couldn't get worse after being blamed for Dumbledore's death. Then Voldemort shows up at Privet Drive on his birthday, turns the Dursleys' house into a fireworks show, and forces Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the run. Their mission? Destroy Voldemort's Horcruxes. Their problem? Dumbledore left zero instructions. Things spiral fast. Voldemort declares Harry Undesirable No. 1 and shuts down his Wiztagram account, replacing it with OnlyWands, an app that forces wizards to register their wands or else. After narrowly escaping an attack, Harry crashes a wedding that's not exactly Bill and Fleur's, fights off Death Eaters, and flees to Ilvermorny in America. There, the trio learns the first Horcrux is at Christie's Auction House in London. Harry disguises himself as Ginny using Polyjuice Potion and distracts Umbridge with help from a Hogwarts grad-turned-Dementor. Ron ditches the group to "help" Lavender Brown, Hermione's house is attacked by cursed muffins, and their Christmas shopping is rudely interrupted by a reindeer Patronus delivering the Sword of Gryffindor. Clues lead them to Uagadou, the magical school in Africa, where things go sideways fast. Harry is captured by an evil wizard and locked in the Malfoys' swanky London penthouse. Meanwhile, Voldemort hunts the Elder Wand, and Harry must infiltrate Hogwarts with chaos (and awkward surprises) ahead. From cursed pastries to app tyranny, this parody reimagines Deathly Hallows with absurdity, hilarity, and just enough heart. Will Harry and friends defeat Voldemort? Or will Voldemort succeed in ruling England, which, as Hermione notes, isn't that ambitious? This is a fan fiction parody retelling of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling, written for non-commercial use. Drop a 🪄 (wand) in the comments if you love the new story!

Their dad dies, their mom is no where to be seen, Collette and her younger sibling are left to fight for themselves. Together or apart, as long as they get some doritoes, man.