the life I lived

Have you ever wondered what it's like to have to dismiss your developing mental issues .? Just to make sure your father doesn't find out about his abusive , yet bipolar wife.

Well I don't have to wonder because for me it's a reality . I sometimes find myself crying and refusing to eat for days because of
her . I don't blame my dad for choosing her over me . I mean if I were him I would chose her too.

What happens when she pushes me too far ? When I finally reach my breaking point I mean I'm only human am I not .

I sometimes wonder if he remembers that night that one faithful night I lost it all.I lost it all and my own father hadn't noticed the sudden change in my attitude. How I had stopped being that happy little girl , his little girl .
I'm no longer daddy's little girl

Does he even know who I am any more
I mean I've lived with the man since I was 7 years old
But he didn't raise me he had left that part of my life to my grandmother but what happens when she
dies and I have to go and live with dad and her ...

I live in a house that's not a home
it often gets cold here but I don't mind
I read to forget about the pain
it's as if the lains being numbed down.

What happens when a certain boy worms his way into my heart. He discovers things about me that I don't even know . This boy is the guy that will most likely be the light at the end of the tunnel